The decent into hell is easy( Finnick Odair)

Glimpse into the past

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Looking over at my brother he gave away nothing as the camera's zoomed in and out of his face, trying to catch any glimpse of a break in his armour. He was strong and I knew that but I had to be stronger. Tomorrow we were going in and the odds of either os us coming out were extremely low. Of all the things that could have happened why did it have to be both of us? Why couldn't it just have been me? He was the only thing I had left anymore but he had friends that loved and cared for him and would feel his absence. When the elevator finally closed and we were free from prying eyes our rigidness faded away but we remained in silence until we got to our floor where Finnick and Annie were waiting. He didn't look at me, not even a glimpse and that hurt more than I could ever say.
"Are you both okay?" He asked still not looking at me but I nodded either way because he sure as hell was not about to know that I would probably cry myself to sleep knowing that I was going to die within the next few days. "It's not going to be easy" No shit! "Especially not for you two, theres a chance it may come down to you, where one of you will have to make a choice. I need to know that you are capable of making that choice" Why was he talking like that to us? He was basically making sure that if it was just us that remained that one would kill the other as if it were a simple task. Glimpsing at Rickie from the corner of my eye I could see it in his face that he could make that choice he was just too scared to say it in front of me. "Promise me that you can do it"
"Finnick" Annie whispered as she looked up at him with sad eyes.
"I promise" Rickie said looking over at me. Staring him down for a few moments I eventually nodded in agreement because at this point in time I would agree to anything

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"Can she hear us?" the voice asked but I couldn't put a face to it since my eyes wouldn't open due to their heaviness.
"Yes. But she won't be processing it. She'll be trapped in her own world until she's strong enough to break out of it" Another voice said offering some explanation.
"So we wait?"
"So we wait"

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Running rapidly through the woods every rock was an obstacle in my way to delay the inevitable. One of us was going to die in the next few minutes and I didn't want to make a choice.
"Chloe stop!" forcing myself to come to a halt despite everything in me screaming to keep going I turned to face my brother who was bleeding from a cut to the head, his hair was stuck to his face and he had grown thinner but he was still bigger than me and if it came down to a physical fight I was a gonner. Clutching a knife tightly in his hand the hairs ont he back of my neck stood up
"You don't want to do this Rickie"
"It's got to be this way. It's you or me and I really want it to be me" this wasn't my brother, this person was deranged and unhinged. If I was honest after they had flooded the arena I wasn't exactly the perfect picture of stable. It got to me, being unable to breath and fighting to stay alive had weaved its way into my head and made me think things I never would have but I wasn't ready to kill the only family I had left. Not until now anyway
"What makes you think that you can do it?" I asked relaxing up my stance to lure him in to a false sense of security.
"What?"
"What makes you think that you can kill me? Kill your sister, the only one who has always been there for you. Mum and Dad wouldn't want this"
"Shut up! I know what you're doing" he growled taking a step forward. Forcing a fake smirk onto my face I held up my hands.
"I was only pointing out facts" Leaning against a tree he was watching every move I made. "Just like the fact that I've killed 12. So what makes you think that I wont make it 13?" tilting my head to the side the grip on his knife grew somehow as his knuckles turned white. "You see the thing is Rickie whether I die or not it wont change the fact that I've killed more than any other tribute in history. Hell I got people to kill themselves which has never been done. What have you done? The only thing you will be remembered for is killing your own sister. Your name will be forgotten but in hundred years mine will still be remembered" the anger was growing on his face, the vein on the side of his neck sticking up. "You are nothing"
"LIAR!" he screamed causing me to flinch slightly but I think he missed it in his rage. Pulling the dagger from my back pocket he failed to notice that as well and that would be his greatest mistake.
"Am I? You joined the careers for their protection, I'm sure with the intent of killing them off but you couldn't do it. I killed Crystal and Blanche to keep you safe. They were toying with you, you were nothing in their eyes. You never will be anything"
"ENOUGH!" Rage tore through his body as he lunged at me. He was quick but I was quicker. Bringing up my own dagger it sliced through the left side of his face taking out his eye in the process. Screaming in agony he fell too one knee and I knew it was over right then if I wanted it to be but I couldn't kill him why he was on his knees so instead I waited for him to get back up. Shaking my head the sight in front of me broke my heart but it also disappointed me. How could we have fallen so far? He didn't say anything to me but I saw him move before he probably realised he was doing it himself. Reaching forward I twisted his hand in on itself and listened as the blade in his hand pierced his own stomach and he dropped to the ground whilst I still held onto him. Feeling tears form in my eyes I held onto him so tightly. What had I done?
"I love you" I sobbed as the light left his eyes and the final cannon went off.

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"She's fighting it"
"Meaning?"
"She'll be awake soon"

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Loneliness was all I felt since I had come out of that arena, since I had taken someone's life for the last time. They'd offered my something to make me forget some of the worst parts but I needed to remember, I needed my pain because it was a punishment for what I had done. All those lives I had taken just to save my own.
"You need to forgive yourself Chloe. It's the only way you will be able to live" Placing a comforting shoulder on my hand Haymitch was looking at me with great concern.
"I can't. Every time I try all I remember is the dying breathes. The faces of the parents of the lives I ended"
"You didn't have a choice" he argued. "It was you or them" as if that made it any better. Whilst what he said was the truth there was always going to be a part of me that would think that I should have just died. "The world will keep turning no matter what you feel, no matter how hard it gets. I suggest you turn with it"

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"What's going on inside her head right now? She keeps looking like she's in pain"
"She's reliving moments in her head that maybe she's suppressed. There's nothing we can do until she wakes up."

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Raking my hand through my hair why could he not just listen to reason for once? How could anyone be so thick? Slamming my fist down on the table his eyes pierced through me.
"You don't know what it's like in there. I do. You think you are just going to waltz on in and waltz back out. Every career thinks that and it never works"
"I've trained my entire for this! To bring honour to my district!" yelling back at me just made me more frustrated
"You don't get it! Once you go in even if you get out you never really leave. Your strong Cato but you aren't stronger than death. The memories of what happened will haunt you for the rest of your life, they don't go away!" taking my hand in his he looked down at me with something other than ferocity.
"I'll come back, I promise"

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"The others are waking up. Any progress on this one?" this was not a voice that I recognised.
"She's showing physical signs of breaking through but her brain activity shows that she's still stuck wherever she is"
"What does that mean?"
" It's possible that she may never wake up"
"You told the boy-"
"He loves her. Can you imagine what would happen if I told him the truth, there would be hell to pay"
"He wont be the only one giving you hell if she doesn't wake up"

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In that single second my world was torn apart again. Staring at the screen I struggled to comprehend what had just unfolded on the screen/. How could that possibly have happened? Taking deep breathes all words were caught in my throat.
"Chloe?" the voice was lost in my thoughts. I'd told him what would happen and he hadn't listened to me. " Chloe" this time a hand grabbed my shoulder but I shoved it away. "Let's get you out of here" it was Johanna that was speaking to me. Shaking my head I was feeling so much that I couldn't separate any of it and it eventually got too much. Screaming at the top of my lungs I sent everything on the side flying to the ground, glass shattering everywhere. Why did this have to happen again? Screaming until my voice was hoarse the glass had also made multiple cuts to my arms, one in particular would leave a scar. Feeling a pair of stronger arms wrap around me I dropped to the floor whilst simultaneously trying to fight out of them.
"Calm down!" the person hissed in my ear " He's gone. There is nothing that you can do" It was Haymitch that had brought me to a standstill. Looking at him the darkest parts of me hated him because it was his tribute that had taken one of the only things I had left but I knew it wasn't his fault and so the anger soon subsided as I remembered everything he had done for me these last few years. Leaning back into him I let the tears role down my face as history was made.

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The machine grew louder as my heart beat quicker.
"What's happening?" someone demanded to know.
"She's waking up!" hands gripped at my arm as impulses made me thrash around. I couldn't control them but the heaviness on my eyes was starting to lift.
"I thought you said she wouldn't"
" No I said it was possible but it's obvious she's a fighter. Go get him. She'll want to see someone familiar when she wakes up" the sound of footsteps running from the room bounced off of the walls and quickly returned with another set.
"What's going on?" the new voice asked.
"She's on the edge. I'm going to try and pull her out" feeling a hand grip onto mine I wanted to hold it back but my brain wasn't sending the right signals. More needles were stuck in my skin and the liquid travelled up my arm, I could feel it creeping its way into my brain, burning at the edges. What the hell was that?
"Chloe come on, come back" Couldn't they understand that I wanted to come back? That I wanted to be awake right now! Fighting whatever was holding me back I finally felt the hold break and my eyes sprung open. Gasping for breath the white light in the room nearly blinded me. Blinking a few times to regain my vision I realised I hadn't looked who was with me
"Finn?" I said thinking that there would be no chance that he would leave me alone.
"Guess again" the voice replied and confirmed the questions that I had been left with in the arena.
"Cato?"
"Correct"