Well...Alright | Buddy Holly

Notes (V.H)

March 18th, 1959. 9:03 pm. The Winter Household

Buddy and I walk into my old room. I sigh and shrug off my jacket.

"Doll, I love you." Buddy says, doing the same.

I plop on my bed. "Thanks!"

"Got anythin' interestin" in here?" Buddy sits next to me.

I shake my head. "Not that I can think of. All there is is my old journal, old makeup and a couple of condoms." I laugh.

"Yeah, uh, speakin' a condoms..."

I turn to him. "What?"

"When are we gonna have kids?"

I shrug. "In a couple years, maybe?"

"Yeah. I've just had real bad baby fever lately."

"Me too,"

"But I know we can't!" Buddy frowns. "That's the worst part!"

"I knooow!" I complain. "I know! I can't think of a worse time to have a baby, but I want one."

"Constant tours, our apartment has one room, we spend so much time at studios, and the part where I'm really not ready to be a father,"

"Exactly! Plus this trip to France and I just watched Juliet give birth and oh boy, that doesn't look pleasant," I try to shake the imagine out of my head.

"It doesn't sound pleasant!"

"Wyatt was breech so after Walter was out, the doctor had to literally reach inside if Juliet and pull Wyatt out. Reach inside!"

Buddy's eyes go wide. "So...d'you wanna adopt our first kid?"

"Yes, yes definitely. I'm scarred for life after that,"

LATER

"Vi, what's this?!" Buddy asks hurriedly.

I jolt up and look at him. "What?" I must have drifted off

He holds up an envelope in one hand and a paper in the other.

I squint and look closer.

Oh, God damnit!

"Buddy put that away!" I bolt up and try to take it from him.

"Is this your note?!" He exclaims.

"Yes- I mean no! Give it!" I try to take it, but he holds it over his head.

"It is your note!"

"Buddy, give it to me, come on!" I whine. "That's private!"

"I didn't know that you wrote a note!"

"Because I didn't want you reading it!"

"Little late!"

"Give me the damn note!"

He slowly brings his arm down and hands me the paper.

I look down at it.

"September 18th, 1952

In regards to my continued living,

Not to be cliche, but if you're reading this, well that means I'm dead. I assume you've figured out that yes, this is in fact, a suicide.

Mom and dad-  I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter. I'm sorry for costing so much money. I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect little cheerleader that Juliet was. I'm sorry that I was such a disappointment. I'm sorry I was so defective and I'm sorry I'm worthless. I'm sorry for the shame that my suicide will bring you. I'm sorry. You were right, I'm worth absolutely nothing. I'm finally leaving you to be happy. I know I was such a burden on you. I'm sorry.