MASCOT OF SHAME (Mikhaiah + Mikhcey)

Chapter 10

Mikha's POV

KINABUKASAN

Nasa locker area na kami pero wala paring imik si Ate Aiah/Aiah kaya di ko maiwasang mag-alala.

"Are you okay?." Madalas siya ang nagtatanong sakin nito, but now it's my turn.

"W-what do you mean?." Sabi nito, trying to play dumb.

"Kanina ka pang walang imik."

"Y-yeah. I was just thinking about some stuff lately. You know school, Mikee--" Sabi niya.

"Nag-away ba kayo?."

"H-hindi naman. It's just that hindi na sya nagpaparamdam since we uh nevermind. By the way, talent camp will be on monday. You said you'll think about it." Sabi nya.

"W-well uh, just one song I guess. And about that girl group thing, not happening. Me and the girls, we will more likely kill each other. Anyway, see you after class." Sabi ko and ...

..

Aiah's POV

Did she literally just kissed me on the cheek?

Kahit siya ay nagulat rin sa ginawa nya. I mean people around are looking at us.

"S-sige." Sabi nalang nito at nagmadali nang umalis.

Class is boring as usual kaya nag-isip nalang ako ng ways on how to kill Stacey's Dad kaya pumunta ako ng library during lunch break, baka sakaling may makuha akong idea since he's going to be my last target, my last kill.

But as I scan through pages the thought of Mikha's body last night and the thing she did this morning at the locker area kept flashing in.

Like, what in a world is going on?

Napailing nalang ako.

Stop Aiah, stop thinking about her like that tsk.

Nang biglang,

"Ate Aiah--"

"Ay Mikha!." Gulat kong sabi.

"Po? I'm not Mikha, I'm--"

Sht

"G-Gwen hi hehe." Sabi ko nalang.

"A-Are you okay Ate?." Sabi nito.

"Y-yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? Anyway, how may I help you?." Tanong ko.

"I-It's about Mikha."

Ayan na namaaan. Now her name sounds different to me tsk. Nasisiraan na ata ako ng bait.

"Ate hellooo."

"Y-yeah, sorry. S-so, what about her?."

"Is she okay? I mean, wala ba syang nasasabi sayo?."

"Like what?."

"I don't know, about Stacey?."

"What about Stacey?."

She sighed deeply before saying,

"I haven't told our friends about this and since magkasama kayo ni Mikha sa bahay at madalas nyo syang nakakasama I was just wondering kung may alam kayo. I don't mean to be delusional or nosy of some sort but I think Mikha and Stacey--"

"What?."

"I-I think they were more than friends. And that the reason why Mikha and Stacey were acting weird lately is because they were trying to brush off their break up and hide the fact about their relationship. But I'm not like our friends Ate, I just want to know the truth. I mean so what diba kung ganun sila. As their friends kami dapat yung nakakaunawa sa sitwasyon nila but what's happening is that I think we're isolating them even more. You knew what happened to my brother Ate Aiah, you were there and I saw that you did your best to stop him from jumping off that building."

"Gwen--" I tried to calm her down because she's practically breaking into tears.

"I could've been there for him." Sabi nya.

"Gwen hey, listen. It's not your fault. And about Mikha and Stacey, I-I don't think they're that type of people kung sakali mang totoo yang duda mo. They're strong and I need you to be strong as well, okay?." I sincerely told her and pulled her in for a warm embrace.

But really? Stacey and Mikha? I did not see that coming.

FLASHBACK

"I can't help you if you won't tell me the truth." Sabi ko.

"Ate, I'm the team captain of the varsity team. I'm pretty sure I can handle myself." Sabi ni Mikha.

"Then why did they--"

"They didn't do anything, it was an accident. I-I accidentally bumped into-i-into uhm--into Stacey at ayun, nasira yung Science project ko. Pero it's okay, I'll make the project again nalang." Sabi ni Mikha.

"I can help you if you want."

"Ate Aiah, it's fine. I can handle it." Sabi niya.

EOFB

Kung tama man si Gwen, then I can't believe Mikha just lied to my face.

Saka ano naman sayo kung naging sila ni Stacey, Aiah? It's not like you're Mikha's girlfriend.

Well, I don't know. There's this burning sensation inside me that I wanted to kill.

FF

As I lay in bed, Mikha's right there next to me, warm and cozy. We share everything - the room, the bed - but there's still this big gap between us, like we're on different planets.

I try to stop myself from feeling too much, but it's like trying to stop a tsunami with a sandcastle. Every time our skin brushes, every time our eyes meet, I feel this rush like I'm about to burst into flames.

Sometimes, when Mikha's asleep, I just watch her. I can't help it. It's calming to see her chest rise and fall with each breath, to hear her soft snores. In those moments, I can pretend we're more than just roommates.

But reality hits hard. Mikha has no clue about the hurricane swirling inside me, about how much I want things to be different. I can't risk ruining what we have by telling her how I feel.

So I swallow my feelings, push them down deep inside where they can't hurt anyone. But it's like trying to hold back a dam with my bare hands - eventually, it all comes crashing down.

I try to distract myself with books or music or studying, but it's no use. Mikha's always on my mind, like an itch I can't scratch.

So here I am, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what could've been if I was brave enough to speak up. But some things are better left unsaid, and I'll just have to learn to live with this ache in my chest, knowing I'll never have what I want most.

And yeah, I have a boyfriend. Buti nalang naalala ko.

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, but he is not answering. I called him again and again pero wala parin. Malamang tulog na yun ngayon.

I mean it's freaking 2 in the morning.

Napalingon ako kay Mikha na mahimbing ngayong natutulog sa tabi ko.

I wish I could just kill what I feel for her as easy as I kill people.

SUNDAY

Katabi ko ngayon si Mikha sa loob ng church. I'm not a religious person though, but this somehow gives me peace.

I know I'm not good, I know I'm not perfect but sometimes, I wish pwede kong ikumpisal lahat ng kasalanan ko.

Then I suddenly felt a soft hand holding mine.

Mikha

Nakafocus lang sya sa pari na nagmimisa.

She's probably just gesturing me to listen too. And so I did.