MASCOT OF SHAME (Mikhaiah + Mikhcey)

Chapter 9

Mikha's POV

5 PM

Pinauna ko munang umuwi si Aiah at tumambay muna ako saglit sa may tree house para makapag-isip-isip nang biglang dumating si Stacey and sat sa tapat ko.

AWKWARD SILENCE

"I'm sorry." She sincerely said.

She sighed deeply,

"I know it won't change the fact that I've hurt you again, and I'm not here to try to justify what I did. I was wrong, Mikha. What I said to you back there was all dumb, dismissive, and insensitive; I won't deny any of that. You can hate me; you don't even have to forgive me, and I would understand and accept your decision wholeheartedly. But I at least want to know the answer to one question that has kept me up at night lately: if I leave everything and everyone else behind, basically when I have nothing to offer, would you still be there for me?"

DEAFENING SILENCE

"Yes. But the real question here, Stacey, is can you? Will you be able to leave everything behind just to be with me? I mean, how dare you question my loyalty when you can't simply make up your mind on whether you want to keep me or not?" I said.

"You know of all people how hard it is to defy my parents, to make our friends switch sides from the homophobe that they are. I can't wear the Mascot of Shame with pride the same way you can, Mikha. I can't walk around parading a relationship that will burn down my father's political career. I can't walk around parading my hypocrisy in not adhering to my family's values. I can't walk around parading our love when the world is conditioned to perceive it as a grave sin." Stacey said.

"The thing about fear is you can overcome it or just accept that it's a normal thing to feel, but shame is different. It's not something you surpass, something you can simply ignore, or something you can simply accept. It's something that could potentially define or break you for the rest of your miserable life. That's probably why, however strong and powerful a man can be, his ultimate fear will be shame; which makes death a far better option than living in humiliation. Even Adolf Hitler, as diabolical as he is, took his own life because he refused to endure the shame of his own defeat. A person who fears nothing is stupid, but a person who doesn't feel shame for his atrocities is not human. So, Stacey, how could you be ashamed of something if you fundamentally believe that there's nothing wrong with it? And why would you?" I seriously asked her.

"Because I could be wrong, and that is far more detrimental than proving myself right." she said and left.

..

Aiah's POV

Dahan-dahan ako ngayong naglalakad pauwi nang marinig ko ang dalawang estudyanteng nag-uusap sa likod ko.

"..really?."

"I mean girl, sang kweba ka ba galing? Halos magpatayan na kaya si Stacey at Mikha dati dahil dun kay Greg. Well, you can obviously see why. Greg is a real catch kaya. Pag nalaman ko na pareho tayo ng crush girl, mapapatay rin siguro kita."

"Grabe ka naman girl, patay talaga? Di pwede sabunot muna?. Pero kidding aside, what happened next?."

"Well, at the end of it Greg chose Mikha. But joke's on both Mikha and Stacey because Greg as we all heard decided to be a priest. Kaya ngayong bangayan ng dalawang yan, sure ako same parin ng dati. Pathetic boy crazy btches." Sabi nung isang girl sabay tawanan.

"Who could be the lucky guy?." Sabi naman nung isa.

"Guy nga ba?"

"What do you mean?."

"I heard Ate Aiah's name when Stacey suddenly raised her voice kaninang lunch break haha."

"No waaay."

"Yes way haha. San ka ba kasi kanina?"

"Sa library, I need to study ahead girl. Malapit na midterms, di nako pwedeng bumagsak this sem baka mapatay ako ng parents ko. Pero mabalik lang tayo dun sa tatlo, what's the issue?."

"Di rin ako sure. Pero may usap-usapan ngayon sa campus that Ate Aiah and Mikha started living together. Isn't that interesting?."

"Pero diba may boyfriend si Ate Aiah?."

"That's the thing kasi marami ring nakakapansin na di na sya sinusundo nung boyfriend niya. For all we know, she cheated on him with Mikha. Who knows what's happening behind closed doors haha."

"Well, I find it odd nga when I heard Mikha call Ate Aiah just Aiah kanina sa locker area."

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at medyo nagulat sila nang mabunggo ako lalo na nang lumingon ako sa kanila with arms crossed.

"A-Ate Aiah." Kabadong sabi ng dalawa.

"Didn't your elders taught you that backstabbing and having perverted thoughts on other people are wrong? Don't you attend sunday mass or listen to religion class? Are you not ashamed of yourselves right now?" Seryosong sabi ko, trying to be nice as possible.

"S-sorry po Ate Aiah, di na mauulit." Nakayukong sabi nila at nagmadali nang tumakbo palayo.

"Anong nangyari sa mga yun?."

Napalingon ako and it's Mikha.

"Ewan, natatae siguro." Sabi ko lang at ayun tuloy lang kami sa paglalakad hanggang sa nakarating na kami sa apartment at inabot ko na nga sa landlord yung pagkain para kay Lingling.

FF

10 PM

Nagrereview nalang ako ng mga previous lessons namin sa kwarto when Mikha entered the room with just a towel wrapped around her, kakatapos nya lang magshower at naghahanap nalang sya ngayon ng masusuot while I try to focus on my notes.

Hold your horses Aiah, you're not like those perverted college girls tsk.

Umupo sya sa tabi ko sa bed nang tapos na syang magbihis and I could literally smell the scent of her hair, neck and no, Aiah stop.

"San ka pupunta?" Takang tanong niya.

"I-I'll just study in the living room, you go take a rest." Sabi ko, trying to keep my composure at nagmadali nang kinuha ang mga gamit ko palabas ng kwarto.

And yes, I fell asleep at the couch that night but I don't remember sleeping with a blanket.

Of course, Mikha.