Part: 36 Scars

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1:10am 4/12/2024

Safe

I guess narcissistic parents lead to narcissistic men
I thought that I'd be done but I just try and try again
Used and wasted wish and beg to be alone again
And then
Revel in the quiet I finally feel truly safe in
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1:29am 4/12/2024
Where you touched me it hurts
It's not supposed to
All over I want to get rid of the smell
I'm shaking with worry
I'm hiding my face
Those same 3 sweaters you've disgraced
How could I not see was blinded by the night
Now I'm only seeing red
This wasn't right
I'll throw a grand piano
Thrust it down onto you
But nothing no ignoring or violence
Ever compares to
The unseen scars these men lead to

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1:14 am 4/13/2024

retreat

It's almost 2 in the MF morning and I don't know what to think
It's almost 2 in the MF morning and I'm all fresh out of drinks
It's almost 2 in the MF morning
And I'm writing poetry of all things
Listening to Rick astly
Unhinged and looking wrecked and ghastly
Vastly thinking abt my life
Contrastly
I'm passing above and beyond
Yet even with this work well done
Hollow souls need watering of fun  with the breath of fresh air
Ice and lighting if you dare
Die or live it's only fair
To live like your going to die
If your ever gonna care
So if your asked
Take a dare
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1:36am retreat 4/13/2024

Girl boss

Vibing vibing vibing
Coucha holic diving
Blunts being thrown never take it in alone
Yet In Here it's chill it feels
With blankets over fears
Stir the pot of emotion
Devotion to the notion of
"Fuck bitches get money"
Honey you don't even know
Freshman year left me in tears it's crazy and well known
That I'm a girlboss here for me
Not here for anyone to make me plead
Friendships aren't surface but an army
Don't you ever try to fuck with me
Eventually my batallian will see the shit that you've done to me and you'd better pray for your better days
Cause on your lucky stars and mine stacked in arms
Your through
Will fuck you up and spit you out
Cause that's what girl bosses and besties do

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