A Caged Angel

Chapter 24

-Fearia-

I've been sitting on this cold hard floor for what felt like days. I haven't been able to sleep since I've been here, I've felt every minute that has passed. Everything hurts, my body hurts, I'm cold, I feel so vulnerable, but it hurts to think, it hurts to feel. I keep telling myself he will open the door any minute and my suffering will end. But then would that really be the end of my suffering, will my suffering ever end?

Maybe if i just submitted to him earlier on this all could have been avoided, maybe we could be happy like crystal and josh. But then would Kaiden view me the same, would he respect me the same, or would he just think of me as a normal slut that would do anything he says without questions.

I didn't want to make Kaiden this mad, he's been there for me through this entire time. He tried to guide me and help me. He's protected me, he's comforted me, he's given me so many things to help me. He helped me make friends, he gave me Crystal, one of the purest human beings i've ever met. He's trying to make me happy. Yeah he can be an asshole, but he's only ever been one whenever I did something to piss him off or that did not align with his views.

My mom told me to find a man who will love you till the day you die, find one that will protect you with his whole heart, one that feels your pain when you're hurting but will comfort you in your darkest moments and show you the light again. She told me to find a man who will take care of me, not just materialistically, but your soul, your well being, your heart. 

Kaiden has tried to do all of those things but I refused to let him in, let him do that for me. And now I'm here on the floor in the chains he put me in. Being here makes me think about all the good things Kaiden has done for me, and how I acted towards him. From the moment I met him I defied him, even when he tried to show me he cared I wouldn't let him in. I probably never would have told him who I was that night if he didnt catch me in a valuable state. But he wanted me to be vulnerable, which meant I would let go of the voice in my head telling me to close myself off.

I was brought out of my black hole of thoughts when I heard the door open. I didn't realize I was crying until I pulled my head out from the top of my knees and I felt the burning coming from my eyes. Tears still spilled onto my face as I looked up at the opening door in front of me.

Kaiden walked through the door, he looked exhausted like he hadn't slept in days. Bags under his eyes, his hair all messed up but I probably looked alot worse than he did. He came closer to me placing himself in front of me kneeling down on one knee. He didn't say anything to me, we just sat there silently staring at each other. I was searching through his eyes trying to read him but all I could see was emptiness.

"Can I explain myself?" I asked softly with defeat, lacing my voice. He just nodded in response, sitting down across from me leaning against the wall behind him.

"I'm sorry about running away, not just this time but all the other times. I don't know what came over me yesterday, I was going through so many emotions and I just ran down that path. I thought that maybe if I ran down that path that for some miracle all my problems would be solved. I was going to come back at least I think I was. But then your guards started chasing me and that made me scared so yeah i did run from them. I didn't want them to catch me because that meant facing you, and here we are." I paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. "I'm scared Kaiden, I'm terrified of getting married to you."

"Why are you scared?" I could see the pain on his face, it hurt him knowing I was scared of him. Like I just took a dagger to his heart and sliced him open. "I don't want you to be scared of me, I want you to feel safe with me. I've done everything to protect you. I don't know what else I can do for you."

"It's not you that I'm scared of, it's your world, I'm scared of my future. I'm scared that one day I'll be nothing more than the prince's wife." tears started to fall again down my face. "I'm scared to be powerless. I feel trapped, caged in. My dreams are fading Kaiden, and I feel myself fading with them."

Kaiden got up and started walking over to where I was sitting. He placed himself right next to me. He reached for his pocket and pulled a key out of it. "Give me your hands" he commanded me.

I did as I was told and brought my hands from my chest and placed them near him, he reached over and grabbed my wrist. Using a key he unlocked each handcuff and placed them beside him. "Come here" he said, looking at me and then patting his lap.

I sat moved over to him then pulled my leg over his lap and straddled him. He moved his hands up to my neck, grabbing the collar and unlocking it with the same key. He pulled the collar off of my neck and threw it to the side of us. Then within seconds he engulfed me in a massive hug. I nuzzled my face into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck, welcoming his warm embrace.

"I should have never done this to you," he whispers to me, rubbing my back softly. "I'm sorry, I was so angry with you yesterday I overreacted. I promise I'll never leave you like this again."

Kaiden went to stand up and when he did he picked me up off the ground with him. I stayed still in his hold letting him take me wherever he wanted. I didn't care as long as it was out of this cell. He walked out of the door and into his sex room. He sat on the bed with me still in his lap. I rested my arms on his shoulders and he gripped my waist keeping me in place.
I was still compressed naked in front of him, every part of me completely exposed to him. I should feel uneasy with him when I'm like this but I don't feel comfortable in every way.

"Let's talk okay? I want to try to make this better for you."

"Okay" I mumbled, giving him a slight nod.

"We've established that you are not leaving me, so what can I do to make our relationship more functional for you?"

I looked up at him into those dark eyes, they were pleading with me. They were not angry anymore, instead they were  there filled with concern and compassion. "I want us to be 50/50. We should be equals and try to work together instead of you ordering me around all the time."

"I don't think we can ever be truly 50/50" he started to rub the small of my back knowing that's not the answer i wanted.

"I know that, and I know that there are times when you have to take control. Like if we are out of the castle or around your friends then you can have the power." I looked down and away from his gaze trying to collect my thoughts. "But when it's just you and me I want to be your equal." I looked back up at him searching through his eyes again, seeking the hope that maybe one day we could be normal.

"So what you're saying is you'll submit to me in public but behind closed doors you're just going to continue to defy me still?" doubt laced his voice. But in my mind i had already submitted to him, but i wasn't going to tell him that.