Simone Laysia Brown
|Cece|
December 9th
"When last we visit?"
I rose my eyebrow, "New York?". I asked
My mom nodded her head, "Yeah". She responded making me roll my eyes
I do not wanna ever go back to New York even if it's just for a visit. It has been five years cool off New York and I'd like that to prolong.
Going back to New York brings back memories, bad memories at that and I don't want that for myself.
I do not wanna fuck up my mental health and going to New York will do just that.
My mom knows exactly why we haven't been to New York but now here she go with the questions.
"Let's visit for Christmas". She said making me glare at her
"Ma, no". I said
"Simone-"
"No"
She sighed, "You can't dwell on the past"
"I'm not dwelling on the past". I said
She rose her eyebrow, "Then what are you doing". She said
I shook my head, "Going back to New York will remind me of the past". I said
She looked at me, "You're giving it the power to do so". She said making me roll my eyes
I sucked my teeth, "I'm not giving it the power to do anything, everything there will remind me of it. I can't pretend that ain't nun happened because that's even worse". I said
She's acting as if what happened didn't have an effect on the both of us and that it was small.
It wasn't small at all. Niggas shot at our house and threatened me at school and my mother at work. Maybe she was used to it but I couldn't handle it, even if I was fond of it.
"Simone, I get you-". I cut her off
"It seems like you do-". She cut me off
"But you can't make it seem like New York isn't home. Where we both grew up, you know that. I miss home, Simone and you can't pretend like you don't. I know somewhere in your heart, New York is a place in it. You ain't visit family in almost six years, you don't miss 'em?"
"I do". I mumbled
"But I call them regularly-
"Simone, that ain't enough. They needa see your face baby, let's visit". She said
"You can even bring your friends, Tion and your boyfriend if you feel like you need them around. The family house big enough for that since we ain't alot in the family"
I miss New York, I won't lie but it's gonna be too much for me. But since I can bring my gang, I guess I can make an exception.
"I'll think about it, ma"
_________________________________________
"You wanna go"
"I wanna go if you want to"
I sucked my teeth, "Tion, c'mon"
"Nigga, I know how you don't like it so if you don't wanna, weon got to"
"It's your home too"
"I'll ask Nessa if she wanna visit cause she ain't been there since she moved here". He said
I sighed, "Aight. Ask the gang fuh me, even Reece and Kiori". I said
"Bet. I'mma hit you lata"
"Okay". I hung up
I moved from my side of the bed and straddled Semaj's lap.
"What he say". He rubbed my thighs
I sighed, "He'll think about it and ask everyone else". I said
"You wanna go tho". He asked
"At first, no but after talking to my mom I'm considering it"
He rose his eyebrow, "Even tho it fucked you up". He asked
I smacked my mouth, "That's what I reasoned with but she didn't wanna hear it. She misses home and I do too"
"Simone, ion even know what went down there but I don't want you to go". He said
I shrugged, "If I go, you coming with me"
"Sure, I'll go but I don't want you to"
I furrowed my eyebrows, "So you wanna go by yourself". I asked
"I wouldn't go"
"What the hell, Semaj-" He cut me off
"Simone, whether you miss it or not Ion want you to go". He said making me roll my eyes
I've been thinking about and I wanna go now, I miss it and even tho it reminds me of the terrors I've experienced, I need that. Closure, it will give me that.
"I wanna go"
He rolled his eyes, "And fuck up what you worked for"
I sucked my teeth, "It's not even about that. I wanna see my family and Christmas around corne-"
He mugged me, "And what made you think ion got shit do with my family for Christmas"
"I didn't think about it". I mumbled
He nodded his head, "I'm glad you said that cause you ain't thinking about shit. We got families, Simone and we celebrate Christmas with them"
Semaj's being so unfair. He know how hard it will be for me to go back and he got the nerve to back out. But it's fine, I'll go, niggas know my body round there.
"You ain't being fair, Semaj. You know I need you and you said you'd go but now you talm bout Christmas with your family"
"Sorry for confusing you but now you know that most the gang can't go". He said
"If you wanna go, go but just know what the consequences are of it. I don't even care anymore cause you're not listening". He said
I nodded my head, "I'm going". I said
He shrugged, "Okay, so you got Nessa, Tion, Von and Nay. Have fun". He said
I will.
"You mad at me"
I mugged him, "Fuck you, Lee"
He chuckled, "Ask me if I give a fuck"
New boyfriend please.
I feel like I ate with this chapter.
Simone's mad at Semaj.
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