Dean's Life

Don't think

Dean's pov

"So how did things go with Alex last night?" Sammy asked, as he poured me a cup of coffee before sitting down across from me at the kitchen table.

I let out a heavy sigh as I rubbed my thumb over the smooth surface of the porcelain mug. Recalling my conversation with Amy's oldest boy, I tried to find the words to express my frustration to my little brother over the kid's reaction.

Noticing my hesitation, Sammy quipped sarcastically, "That good, huh?"

Getting up, I started pacing the floor as I collected my thoughts.

"He infuriates me to no end, little brother. Every smug, indignant look on his face. Each snide, belligerent remark out of his mouth." I set my coffee mug down hard as I looked out the kitchen window over the sink. Shaking my head, I lamented, "I swear I just want to strangle the kid like ninety percent of the time."

"It's a tough situation, Dean," Sammy replied. Getting up for a refill, he patted me on the back. "I don't think there are any simple answers here, brother. It can't be easy lookin' in the mirror and seeing that blast from the past staring back at you."

"What the Hell are you talking about? Speak English, little brother. It's way too early in the morning for you to be spewing your highfalutin Shakespearean nonsense," I grumbled.

"The kid is you, Dean, when you were his age. That's why he infuriates you to no end. Simple psychology, brother, not Shakespeare," Sammy chuckled.

"You're crazy. You know that?" I huffed, not wanting to accept his truths, knowing damn well he was right, after thinking the same thing myself a dozen times.

"Am I?" Sam snarked smugly, knowing he made his point.

Still staring blankly out the window at the tall oak tree in my front yard as I absorbed his words, I stated flatly, "You know, I almost took my belt to him last night." I saw my little brother immediately tense up out of the corner of my eye.

"Dean, you didn't..." he paused, hesitant to finish his thought.

Turning to face Sammy, I replied, "No, I didn't but believe me, brother, I wanted to real bad."

"What uh," Sammy swallowed hard, unable to hide the trepidation in his voice and posture. "What stopped you?" he asked hesitantly, unsure he wanted to hear my answer.

"Dad," was all I needed to say to my brother to convey every unspoken thought and emotion that ran through my head last night, as I stood in front of Amy's oldest boy, holding my folded over belt in hand, ready to strike.

"For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision, Dean." Sammy sat back down at the table with his full cup of coffee. "Walking away couldn't have been easy."

Shaking my head, I picked up the coffee pot to top off my mug as well before taking a seat next to my little brother.

"No, it wasn't, not at all."

Putting his hand on my shoulder as a conciliatory gesture, Sammy said, "You need to talk to Alex and you need to talk to his mother about this too. Don't let it fester and eat you up inside." He clapped me on the back as he stood. "I know you, Dean. You should deal with this sooner, rather than later."

"Yeah," I sighed. "You're right as usual, little bro. You always were the smart one."

After dinner that night, I had Sammy take Drew and Katie down to the basement with him to play some video games so I could talk to Alex in private.

"Can we make this quick? Cuz I got more important things to do," Alex snarked, as he tipped the kitchen chair back, eyes glued to his phone.

"Put the phone down, or I'm taking it until your mother gets back from her conference," I ordered my mouthy soon to be step-son.