BETA LANCASTER

PART 16 - MISSING THE BETA

HARPER

Twirling my pen between my fingers, I re-read my notes for what seems like the millionth time, then groan out loud with frustration when it drops to the floor and I end up resting my forehead on top of my paperwork trying to hold back crying.

Why am I bothering to do any of this?

Everything's ruined.

I don't know why I'm even still at this pack let alone still showing up at this job. My head is fucking everywhere.

It's been three days since the tournament. Taylor gave me an ultimatum in the parking lot to never cry another tear or think of Jackson Eastwood again if I wanted to move forward as a couple. To choose a life with him and not keep chasing a wolf that could never be mine. Safe to say, bursting into tears as soon as he said the words was a mistake and we've barely spoken since. We're back to separate bedrooms and he's locked himself away in his garage for most hours of the day missing most meals we'd usually have together.

We're back to square one, strangers who seem to have lost the ability to speak to each other.

The mate's mark potency has finally started to lose its initial kick and that overwhelming pull we were both experiencing is starting to ebb and fizzle away. The bond is there, but it feels fragile now and my wolf just feels confused and upset. I can't make sense of her at times. One minute she keeps pulling me to be at the pack house, so I throw myself into my work, the next she wants me home in the cabin to be near Taylor even though we're ignoring each other.

For the whole ride home from the tournament I kept reliving how Jackson looked at me and what was said and just cringe. However, over these last few days I've cared less and less about that, and all my thoughts have been on Taylor. How I'd hurt him, how I miss waking up in his arms, cuddling up to his wolf in the mornings by the lake or watching my mate do his puzzles on a night time wearing those sexy glasses of his.

Reality is - I miss him. I miss Taylor, not Jackson.

A small tap to my door makes my eyes snap open from where my head is on the desk. Slowly sitting back up, I run a hand through my hair and pat down my clothes before taking a deep breath and calling out to whoever is at my door.

"Come in." I say quietly, hoping to God it's not the housekeeper Lucy. I don't think I could cope with one of her frosty remarks right this minute, she might actually break me this time.

Happily, it's two of the kitchen maid omega's who I got to know when I was looking through the kitchen inventory last week.

"Zoe, Ruth." I smile at them. "How nice to see you both, is there something I can help you with?"

"Umm, actually we wanted to give you this Lady Harper." Ruth grins as she looks at Zoe to bring out a large vase of flowers that she's hiding behind her back.

"Oh, my goodness." I say getting to my feet and rounding the desk. "They're exquisite." I smile as I bend down to smell them and hum at the rich floral fragrance. They're stunning.

"Are these from... Beta Taylor?" I ask almost nervously, knowing I'm silly to get my hopes up.

"No, they're from us." Zoe smiles as I look between them in surprise, hiding well my disappointment that they're not from my mate.

"They're beautiful, but what on earth is it for? "I say, confused.

"It's to say, well, thank you. Since you've taken over the work rota's I actually had a weekend off and got to visit my family, my hours are better. I'm not as tired either." Smiles Zoe as Ruth nods.