Life After Near Death

Brawls and Kisses

"Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels?"

― Leo Tolstoy

Natsu followed Gray like a hawk, or perhaps like a dragon. He had to admit to himself, maybe he was acting like Juvia and stalking the ice wizard. He could hardly help it, though. Natsu was concerned—no, he was flat out terrified—that Gray might try to hook up with some girl now that he and Juvia were not together.

He had to stop that from happening. It didn't matter how!

A few days after the breakup, Lyon came to Magnolia to check up on Gray. The two went out for drinks, and Natsu followed. He put on a hat and sunglasses and sat in another area of the pub, watching them and using his keen ears to listen in on their conversation.

"How in hell did you mess up with her?" the older Ice-Make wizard exclaimed as they drank cold beers.

"I told you, I just ... I ... wasn't in love," Gray grumbled in shame, feeling guilty about breaking the heart of the girl his adopted brother liked. "I jumped in too soon, I guess. I thought I could grow to love her."

"Of course! Anyone would love that dear, gorgeous woman," Lyon exclaimed loyally. "Which is why I'm worried why you, of all people, couldn't love her. Your heart isn't that cold!" Lyon suddenly realized something. "Were you perhaps conflicted about my feelings for Juvia? Is that the issue?"

Gray scoffed softly. Honestly, Lyon's unrequited love never entered his mind. "I wish I knew," he muttered. A face popped into his head: a summery smile, squinty eyes, and wild cerise hair. He shook his head stubbornly. "Lyon, how do you know if you're in love?"

The white-haired wizard looked stunned, but seeing Gray's troubled face made him think about it seriously. "You feel warm, almost like you're on fire. You feel like melting, yet you feel stronger and more powerful than a glacier."

"Warm. On fire." Gray mused on that, but the vision of sage green eyes and a sharp-toothed smile returned. "Dammit," he muttered, running his hand through his hair. Why did that face have to keep coming back to him?

Lyon eyed him keenly. "Something on your mind?"

Just then, on the other side of the room, the manager walked up to Natsu's table. "Sir, if you don't order anything besides water, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Natsu knew he had no money. He glanced over at the two ice wizards again. He supposed he could wait outside and watch, just to make sure Gray did not flirt with the waitresses. He got up and left, keeping his hat low and his coat collar turned up so he would not draw attention to himself.

Back at the table for two, Gray was quiet, debating what was on his mind. He felt like there was no one in the world who could possibly understand.

"Gray?" Lyon asked softly. "You know you can tell me anything. We're brothers."

He smiled reflectively. "Yeah, we are," he whispered. If there was one man in this world he could tell, it was Lyon. "What if the issue is ... I don't like women?"

Lyon was stunned, and his mouth dropped a little. "You ... you're—"

"I don't know," Gray cut in. "I don't think I am. I mean, I do like women, definitely, but ... but maybe ... both?" he questioned, feeling like panicking since he could not explain this. "Look, I don't even know. They say you're born that way, and ... and I've never once thought about men like this."

"But there's someone," he pointed out. "A man you ... like?"

Gray sank in confusion. "I don't know. Maybe. I'm too confused. Part of me ... doesn't want this," he whispered, feeling guilty just admitting that, like he was betraying Natsu somehow. "I mean, what the hell do I know about ... about..." His throat clenched off and he tried to gesture wildly with his hands.