My dark Professor

22

Caspar

I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

I close my eyes and imagine a better scenario, not whatever fucked up scene I was currently looking at.

I close my eyes and hope and pray to wake up from this nightmare.

"Hello, brother," he smiles.

He smiles, and I am transported back to the past.

I see myself chasing after a little boy with dark hair. He ran faster than I ever could. I finally caught up to him though I was out of breath and my lungs burned so much I had to take a moment.

"Loser," he smiled. That same smile our father has. Wicked and teasing. My young mind couldn't comprehend the meaning behind their smile. My mom called it the Williams smile. She said I didn't inherit it. It used to hurt me when she said that. Now I am glad. Because behind that smile is something far worse. That smile reflected their dark mind and equally dark heart.

My heart was poisoned.

My brother's very being was poisoned with the deadliest of poisons ever to exist.

He wasn't just dark-minded. He was unhinged.

Seeing him after years later didn't change the chill I got any time I see that crazy glint in his eyes. I knew that look in my sleep. It spoke of pure evil.

"Don't tell me you forgot all about me," he drawls then chuckled at the glare I gave him.

I haven't forgotten about him. How could I forget the person I shared a womb with? The person I shared everything with up until the age of 11. That was when we got separated. When the doctor diagnosed my twin with psychopathic behavior.

The Williams blood had a little something in it that made us different from the rest. That little something caused my brother to kill our nanny.

Instead of going to prison, because he was the son of a wealthy man with connections, he was taken to a psychiatric ward that could pass for a resort. So, for the past 18 years, my beloved twin has been locked up until now apparently.

Every six months, my parents and I go to see him. Though I had stopped going with them ever since that incident that happened between us years ago. An incident I had buried in the deepest part of my mind.

"Jalaid. Drop the gun. Please."

He does the complete opposite. He raises his aim higher.

"Pathetic. You plead. A Williams does not plead much less for a woman. A slip of a girl. You embarrass me, brother."

That slip of a girl was my everything. That slip of a girl he currently held at gunpoint was worth much more than my last name.

Her wide, terrified eyes plead with me to save her.

I wish I could assure her that no harm will come to her. I don't utter a word. I knew my brother. I had to keep my attention on him. He was unpredictable and dangerous. Believe me when I say he wasn't kept in that psychiatric ward for no reason.

I won't get my eyes off him until I knew for sure that Lily was saved.

"This is between us. We don't need to get anyone else involved. Drop the gun and face me."

This time he does drop the gun, but he doesn't face me. Instead, he kneels to a whimpering Lily. My eyes cloud with rage when I see him hold her hand in his.

I was ready to charge up to them and rip him away from her, but the logical part of me knows that wouldn't end well. He lowered the gun, but it was still in his grip. He could end up shooting me or, worst her. I'd rather he shot me instead.

"That's the thing, brother. It has always been between us. Not anymore. Not when we have her. She is a part of this; she is the reason for this."

His word sprouts up another long-buried memory in my mind.

A little boy crying and demanding he gets the same flavor of ice cream I got. Another of him screaming to get the award I got from school. Then the cries and screams changed to him going out of his way to get everything I have until there was a pair of every item. Petty jealousy turned into an obsessive need.

Petty jealousy turned into malicious intent. The same petty jealousy ruined whatever love we had for each other.

"I couldn't sit and watch you have her, not when I saw her first."

Delusional.

"She doesn't have to be here for this. We could talk it out. Let her go, and we can talk. Hell, we could fight to death if that's what you want."

He snarls. "That's not what I want. What I want is her."

The her in question looks up at me again. I look away because I can't stand the hopeless fear in her eyes.

I look at Jalaid, and the crazy glint in his eyes reflected at me tells me that I won't get anywhere with mindless talk. I needed to do something.

"You want my cars? My house? My fucking fortune? You can have them all. That's all you've ever wanted. You want whatever I have. You can have them all. All of them except her. She's not a property or a thing I can let you have. I've let you get away with everything since we were in fucking cradles. You made everything between us a competition. I let you get away with it because you are sick. I don't blame you. It's in our blood, this sickness. If you've forgotten, it's in mine too. I might not have gotten locked up for it, but my blood is tinted too."

Just like I predicted, he stands and comes up to me. Through peripheral vision I see Lily relentlessly try to free herself. Good.

I turn my attention back to the problem at hand. My twin and I face each other off. We were toe to toe, so close our noses almost touched.

My heart softens a bit.

He was my other half. He was my best friend, brother, and the only person who knew me more than myself. I had shared everything with him. He knew about my dreams before I knew how to turn them into reality. He was the inspiration for many of my works. He was the first person ever to read my first published book. I made sure to send him a copy. I got a letter back with one word. Perfect.

My crazy brother was also my biggest fan, he wouldn't ever admit, but I knew.

He was my other half before he turned into an enemy. The bond we shared from the womb, despite it being blurry, was still present. I knew he felt it because some of his hard glare toned down.

"C-Caspar," he stutters.

"Jalaid."

He closes his eyes and breaths in harshly.

"Why do you have to have it all?"

Here was a man who couldn't control his thoughts. Who let his thoughts control him. Who had everything a man could ever want, yet he was never satisfied. Never at peace, not until her anyway. So no, I didn't have it all. My brother wouldn't see that. He wouldn't understand because he lived in his world. In a dark emotionless world.

"Why can't I be like you? Why do I have to be the one with this... this sickness. Why?"

He shakes his head manically, gripping strands of his hair with such force I was scared he'd rip them off his scalp.

I put a hand on him to stop the motion.

"Enough," I command.

He stopped enough to look at me, but he was still violently shaking his head.

"You don't get it. You can never get it. You're the favorite son. The one everyone loves. You are not a failure, a monster, or a murderer. You don't know what's it like inside my head. To live with chaos. Dark, dirty chaos. You can never know what it's like. So no, it's not enough. I need something to cure me. I need a light. I need a light as bright as hers. I need her to save me from myself."

I suck in a breath.

Cut from the same cloth. Of course, he saw the light in her too. The cure to the curse. The antidote to the poison.

I let him have everything. Let him get away with everything. But Lily was the last straw. I would never let him have her. Never.

She was mine. My antidote. Mine.