My dark Professor

16

Caspar

If you didn't believe that I was sick before. I'm sure after what I just did, you'll believe it.

I didn't know where it came from. The darkness.
It was all light for one minute. So light and bright that it felt like I was in a fucking cloud.

I felt like I was in paradise. The way she felt against me. It felt like paradise.

I let her do what she wanted with me. I was going to stop her gently and tell her that I was losing control. Losing control was the last thing either of us wanted.

The minute I felt her sweet breath on my neck, I knew it was the last straw. She couldn't take what I was about to unleash. So I snapped. I let the darkness creep in until it was completely covering my sight.

The image of her trembling in fear made me want to do worst. It was toxic yet heady at the same time. Her tears. Her fear. Fuck. It felt like a drug. I couldn't get enough of it.

I was not a human being then. I became the thing I was when I let the poison stay stuck in me for long. When I let myself get lost in the dark. I became a man with no feelings. Though I did feel a twinge of regret when I saw how terrified she was of me.

I didn't want her terrified. I just wanted her to see me, not whatever image of me she has in her mind. I wasn't a saint. I wasn't a hero. I can't save her. I can't even save myself. She needed to know what she was getting herself into. Because if I have her, I was never going to let her go. Ever.

It was better she stayed away.

But the thought of not seeing her was unbearable. I couldn't. Now that I've tasted what it's like to have her all to myself, I could never give her up.

Though I was such a jerk.

The girl passed out because of me. I paid her back by making her cry. I wonder if she was still crying. Will my pillows and sheets be all wet from her tears?

I hope they are. So later, I could rub myself against them when I was alone. So I could taste her saltiness. At this point, I was like a starving werewolf in a full moon.

I hear her soft footsteps approaching from behind me.
My heart skips a bit. The thought of facing her hurt wasn't pleasant. Hurt I caused.

I man up and turn to her.

What I saw wasn't what I was expecting.

She didn't look hurt.

She didn't look like she was in pain.

She didn't look angry, which she should be.

She looked radiant like the sun. 
Fucking hell.

I know I keep saying it, but she's so damn pretty. So pretty that it makes my eyes hurt.

"I'm leaving."

I don't acknowledge her words. The calm, beautiful aura around her consumed me—the aura I wanted to suck myself into.

"I said I'm leaving. This time I'm never coming back. I quit."

I capture the 'Never coming back' and nothing else.
It was the only relevant thing. It was able to snap me out of whatever haze I was in.

"I don't think so," I growl.

Her eyes widen in surprise. I bet she wasn't expecting me to say that. Probably thinking I'll be happy to get rid of her.