IMMUNITY

s1:ep18→S.A.D. stalkers

A/N: IMMUNITY playlist pog. Also, 4k boring words. Brain hurt.

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❝𝙎.𝘼.𝘿. 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙆𝙀𝙍𝙎❞
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There are so many things that you still want to do in life.

Your bucket list consists of stealing back Sirius, traveling to different parts of the world, experiencing your first hot spring, slaughtering politicians, riding a hot air balloon, and maybe set up a small baking business -- you know, grow up like a normal civilian.

But with the gods and deities torturing you by putting you in various situations that have to do with the name 'Teruhashi,' you don't think you're going to live long.

"(l/n), would you like to come to this new cafe with me?"

You're not ready to die yet.

"I --"

"As -- as friends, of course! Haha! I just don't want to go alone!" Teruhashi quickly interjected, stuttering. You can feel the pressure of multiple pairs of eyes glaring holes into your thick skull.

Fuck.

This is what you were dreading to hear.

If you said yes, her fanboys will decimate you and kick your soul into oblivion. If you said no, those horny teenagers will also kill you for being ungrateful and denying their goddess' proposal. You feel like you're on the verge of self-combusting with all this negative attention towards you.

Apparently, Teruhashi mistook your uncomfortable expression as something else making her pity you.

Oh no! The pretty girl thought, They must be so disappointed that I mentioned it's a friendly date!

Oh, the woes of a ( retired ) scam artist.

Now obviously, this isn't the first time Teruhashi invited you to a 'friendly date' in order to get close with you. You're not one to waste your time by window shopping or taking a stroll around a suspiciously deserted park but you learned to adapt and improvise.

"Sure, just pay for my order, okay~?" You coyly grinned. You may be trying to change for the better but the scum life runs in your veins and it will stay there until you rot in hell. In your defense, it's a win-win for the two of you; you get free food and Teruhashi will have your time for a few hours ( like a rent-a-girlfriend of sorts ).

Some may call you lucky -- especially your set of friends -- but those who weren't personally invited by Teruhashi are the incredibly lucky ones. Backlash is to be expected but you're used to it, unsurprisingly. All those money-making schemes don't let you get out scot-free. You internally hope that you don't get kidnapped by the Kokomins again once all of this is over.

Speaking of friends, where the hell are they? You thought about inviting them to make it less awkward for you and plus, they're a bunch of horny teenage boys so you deduced that they'll be more than happy to accept.