The Fault Line (GxG)

34. Nobody is perfect

I'm not sure what frightens me the most. That there is only a couple of weeks until the game with the Griffiths or that Nico is leaving in a month. Maybe both, I don't know. We need to win the game to be able to get the trophy. 

The entire season has been like a rollercoaster. We always ended up being tied on the top. I feel confident but conflicted about the game as well because of Nico. 

We haven't talked about it, which I think we should do. I'm not very comfortable with the thought of scoring or winning. I love her, and I don't want to hurt her, yet if I knew how she felt, maybe that would make it easier for me to know how to approach it. 

Town has started to show its true colors. People walking around the mall, shopping center, and streets with hostility. More than usual, you can hear the argument, see the looks people give each other, and you can feel the tension in the air. 

Which has left me a little paranoid about my relationship with Nico. I'm always worried about people finding out, and it's a constant worry I get. It has left me spending less time with her. She noticed my distance and got concerned if something was bothering me or if she did anything wrong. 

I explained to her my problem, and she understood, so she agreed to turn us down a notch. At least for the coming weeks. We have seen each other only a day a week for the past month. It's not that bad, because we call each other and text often. 

It made me question that perhaps the long distance might not be so bad after all that I was only overthinking. But I'm not sure yet since we haven't come to that chapter of our lives yet. Or I might be fooling myself to believe it's easy? 

I wish we could play the soccer game and get over with it, to be honest. It's painful to know Nico will leave soon, and I get to see her once a week, but that is my own fault, of course. I don't want any conflicts with anyone and create an issue. Sometimes I wish life was easier, but that might be too much to ask for. 

I'm seventeen, and I already have problems. The pressure of being the main star and leader of the soccer team. I like it, though, but now it's a burden. I don't like to think too much about it because it makes my heart beat hard against my ribs. It also takes away my sleep at night. 

Then I have my absent mother, who doesn't seem to care for anyone else but herself. Her gambling and I believe other things that keep her away from me. I'm not sure what, but I have a feeling it's something I won't like. 

My father is fighting each day for everyone else besides himself. Going to work and do mostly overtime to get more pay. Then he would go to my grandparents almost every day to help on the farm. 

When school is over, I have decided to help my grandparents as much as possible and concentrate on getting better at soccer before going to college with Lynda. Nico is going to leave very soon after school, so I need something to distract myself with. I hope that would fill in the gap or her being gone. I'm determent to make it work, though. 

"Wilder," I turned to my friend Lynda who looked at me across the table with concern. 

"Yeah?" I answered and stared at a few people who walked past our table, frowning at us. I rolled my eyes; how can adults act like that. The weirdest part it's that the women are the worst ones. Like every other Friday, the mall is filled with people, but now I feel like I always have to watch my back. 

"Are you okay? You seem a bit all over the place," She said as I met her gaze, I took a deep breath. 

"Just a lot on my mind," I explained, rubbing my forehead, wishing that it would make it go away. 

"The game?" She asked, and I nodded lightly. Lynda leaned forward to me to close the gap a little between us. 

"I think you need to go on that pitch and turn off your feelings. See it as just another game we need to win," She told me quietly, yet looked around to make sure no one heard her. 

"Yeah, maybe, but is it that easy?" I wondered, and she shrugged. 

"I don't know, Wilder. All I know is that the team is depending on you. The town is depending on you," She said intensely, or maybe that is just how it felt like when she mentioned the word town. I can't blame anyone else for being in this situation. I chose to be with Nico, and we knew that it wouldn't be easy from the beginning. But it's something else when you go from knowledge to feeling it—the nervousness, the worry, and not knowing what to do.

"I shouldn't have said that," Lynda laid her hand over her mouth with widen eyes. 

"No, you shouldn't have," I agreed, feeling my hands tremble to the point I have to hide them on my lap.

"I'm sorry, well you know I am here if you need me to listen, cause obviously, I'm not good at giving advice," She said, and it made me laugh a little. 

"No, you are actually good at giving bits of advice, but this was not one of them," I smiled, and she rolled her eyes at me. 

"Nobody is perfect," She shrugged, and my friend is right. There is no such thing as perfection.