The Curious Case Of Dennis (Boys From Hell #1)

#3

|Dennis|

The wind was blowing , scattering dried up leaves on the ground. Some of them got stuck to my sneakers.

Leaning against  my car, I took a deep swig of the cigarette . . Filling my lungs with it's cheap toxicity.

I like stuff that provides me cheap thrills.

I know I could get an expensive cigarette but it doesn't taste the same. It doesn't fill up my soul with smoke and fumes.

It doesn't ruin me.

It was dark but the street lights were casting eerie yellow glow and the moon was in full swing so . . .

"I don't get why you do this?" A grumpy voice came beside me.

I don't get it too. .

She handed me the beer and then after every swig ,I would take a sip of it. The beer was cold  , it made me numb out everything going in me.

"—and in case you haven't noticed , she's a loner." Glow stated the obvious.

I smiled , staring up at the moon . "So is the moon. "

She's a moon. A brilliant glowing ball of everything beautiful. I knew we were opposite, in every single way.

She came from a middle class family, I belonged to a loaded stereotype filthy rich one.

She is always hiding from me .

I am always there for her.

She's a loner.

I bring crowds to life.

Her edges were soft. . So soft.

I was jagged, all over .

"You look pathetic! What's next? Crying for her?" Glow said, disgust clear in her voice.

"I did that too." I shrugged.

Her eyes bugged out.

"Are you sure you got a dick on ya?"

I sighed, the cold bottle of beer made my fingers ice cold. " I guess that's what love  does to you, my friend. . Makes you lose your dick." I laughed out loud.

My laugh was hollow, empty.

My life is empty but she makes it worth it.

Glow kept staring at me as if in doubt of my mental health.

But I knew she wouldn't understand what I am. What she makes me into. How she turned my life upside down. .

I got suspended for defending her. . I took all the blame . . Hence the slash in my eyebrow.

How far can a guy go in love?

I was far enough to loose myself.

Every time she speaks to me, she bites down every word as if throwing fire balls at me. Wishing to see it would engulf me . Burn me .

But she had no idea, the love that I had for her was burning me and I loved it!

Every time she looked at me, her eyes would catch fire , as if warning me to stay away.

If I could stay away I would have . . if I could rip out my heart I would have. .

All I want was to talk to her. Have a real talk. Have a real date. To show her who I actually am. How she made me this way.

When I try to talk to her, she challenges me , tries to kick my hopes down. Tries to show me that she hates me.

I'm not a bully.

I know I'm not a shitty person.

I used to be one . . girls, drugs, alcohol. I had it all. I was the guy and I'm still the guy who has it all.

Every one night stand made me feel hollow from inside. I tried to fill up that space with girls but every time  I had sex , I would feel much worse than the last time.

They lie.

One night stand isn't fun. It's animalistic. Two animals trying to fill each other.

And then I fell into drugs.

I replaced girls with drugs.

I remember that day quite well, it's etched on my soul.

Everyone remembers that day when you feel the change. The day when everything makes sense.

That was my day.

23, December, 2019.

10: 30 AM.

I was high, my eyes were bloodshot. It was the coldest morning New York had ever experienced and all I was wearing was a thin shirt and regular jeans. The drugs had numbed out my senses. I couldn't separate two from two.

The world was spinning around, students were buzzing , their faces morphed into creatures I had never seen but I felt exhilarated. Excited. Calm.

I was up in flames but all I felt was . . Calm. As if the world had stopped moving.

A beautiful mosaic. .

I had stumbled in the bathroom, my stomach was churning. I had pumped up my body with drugs from two days .

I didn't eat.

I didn't remember the last time I ate.

Standing in front of the sink on shaky legs, I looked at the blurred out mirror .

Really looked.

What stared back at me was disaster.

A disaster that had no escape.

Bloodshot eyes, dark circles, pale skin, dry red lips. . messy hair sticking in every direction.

Disgusted. .

I felt disgusted at the sight of me. This wasn't me. This wasn't how I was.

Suddenly my stomach retched and i emptied my stomach right in the sink, wheezing. My stomach hurt. So bad I thought I would pass out of the pain! Cold sweat broke out all over my body! I was drenched in sweat on the coldest day! I could feel the power of drugs leaving me. I could feel getting weaker than a one day old baby.

That's when she came.

I was bent over the sink, sticky white slobber hanging from my mouth. She was the first and the last one who had seen me in this state.

I felt her small hand on the back of my body. I stiffened at her soft touch.

She was patting my back gently.

Pushing me down to empty my stomach fully.

She didn't say a word. Not a single word.

All she did was handle me at my worst. Like an obedient child, I vomited right in front of her.

Somehow I knew she wouldn't judge me.

I took a look at her in between. Her hair was falling , cupping her face. She had that warmth all around her. . .I couldn't help but get closer to her. . I craved that warmth. Her chocolate brown eyes were concentrated , determined. Her lips pursed in a line. . her hand still on my back.

I thought I heard her saying "There there. ."

If I had seen her on a road , in the school. . at a mall , I would never have given her a second look. She was ordinary .

So ordinary. .

That I, an extraordinary person, wanted to be ordinary.

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