Behind My Eyes.

am i good?

i've spent a good amount of my life belittling myself and tearing myself down.

i could never convince myself that i was worthy of anything deemed as good.

i still have a hard time thinking that.

anytime i have a good day i sit back and i think about what i could've done to deserve it.

how silly is that?

i have to second guess why i'm having a good day.

i guess the years of self-inflicted torment worked.

you say horrible things about yourself but you never stop to think about the consequences down the road.

i can't take a compliment because i've conditioned myself to believe that i'm not attractive ever.

i can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that i am beautiful and that i am deserving of the things that i have go well in my life.

i'm afraid it will always be this circle and i'll never be able to break free from it.

we have to be nicer to ourselves otherwise we'll all end up like me and trust me that's not fun.

it's a daily battle.

i guess maybe i'm not worth a single good day.