mistakes.

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i've made some mistakes in my life, that part is so obviously clear.

maybe getting involved with you was one of them, but knowing what i know now and feeling the way i do, i know i wouldn't trade those days for anything else.

no matter what i always find myself coming back to you and find you running across my mind, even when i know you shouldn't.

i spend most of my days crippled by anxiety and the constant stress turning in my stomach leaving my unable to eat or think.

i've barely ate more than once a day in months, and i don't think mom and dad have caught on yet.

you plague every thought i have and you invade every dream.

i find myself messaging you, always starting with "hi i'm probably annoying you and i'm sorry for that but", and always ending with the same result...nothing.

not a sound.

not even a glance in the hallways in the school we've been attending for years.

it's like i no longer exist in your perfect little world and maybe that's for the best?

maybe i'll realize that i don't need you either and maybe i'll start eating again soon and maybe my stress and anxiety won't be as crippling.

maybe one day i won't think about you every second of every day and you won't take up every dream i have.

one day you'll be nothing more than a speck of dust i forgot to clean off the shelf and that day can't come soon enough.

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