Fear (A Scarecrow Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-Six

I ran my hands under the facet, cool water collecting in my palms before I splashed it in my face. My hallucination stood staring at me in the mirror, her arms crossed as I tried to get rid of her in vain. It had already been a day, and she showed no signs of leaving, constantly appearing wherever I looked. The spinning, however, had gone away after the first few hours.

I leaned against the edge of the sink, my eyes focusing on my own reflection, not recognizing my face. My cheeks were hollow, my skin pale, my eyes masked with purple bags, and my lips cracked, showing just how well I was getting along here. Figment Sarah glowed in the dingy lighting, looking more like me than myself. I couldn't help but glare at her.

She smiled, her voice taunting, "What's the matter? Realizing I'm right?"

"When are you going away?" I asked for the millionth time.

"When you aren't weak," she answered no different from any of her previous answers.

I sighed, resting my forehead on the sink, not thinking about the questionable grime and brown spots scattered around its surface, "What would you have me do?"

"Accept your fears. They are apart of you and can do you no harm."

"Fear serves as a reminder that we can be hurt or worse. It doesn't make me weak," I argued back.

She scoffed, "It does when you suppress it. Learn from your father and brother. Show your mother that she was wrong to wish you had died in their place."

I winced, trying to shake out the images that came to my head, blood filling my mouth as I bit my cheek. Figment me put her hand on my back, leaning over to look me in the eye again. Her lips were drawn into a disappointed frown.

"See," she pointed out, "You are weak. Everything would be so much simpler if you would just accept what is and be who you really are. Can you not feel the anger that has built up from being so powerless?"

I sighed, closing my eyes so I couldn't see her, "I'm tired, not angry."

She moved away, taking her hand with her. I could hear the irritation in her voice even though it was masked with patience, "Are you? Have you considered that maybe you're feeling both?"

I didn't respond, keeping my eyes closed, wishing she would just leave or that I was at home. My mind wandered back to Jas as I wondered if she was doing everything in her power to find me.

"If she even got your letter...." Figment me voiced my doubts and I opened my eyes to glare at her.

She shrugged, leaned up against the wall, "What? I'm your hallucination, of course I'm going to know what you're thinking."

Turning away, I reached for the door handle, only for her to bar my path.

"Come on, why don't you believe me? I'm literally a creation of your thoughts," she persisted, "I get that you're afraid, but Scarecrow is just going to keep exposing you to your fears. If you would just accept them, this," she motioned to the door where I would have to resume acting like I wanted to help forward Jonathan's plans, "would be a whole lot easier. I can help you."

I sighed, shaking my head before I grabbed the handle and twisted it. The door swung open in one swift movement as I walked past her without a response.