He Was A Broken Boy ✔

○ THIRTY- ONE ○

○ THIRTY- ONE ○

Outside was cold and bitter and I rubbed my arms as I spilled out into the fading afternoon light. The door closed behind me as Matt stepped out.

"Cold?" He asked as I turned to face him.

"I'm fine" I lied before scruffing my shoes on the sidewalk.

"So.." Matthew trailed off.

I let out a deep breath, the cold air immediately taking it and turning it into mist. "Where do I begin" Matthew said again.

"At the explanation" I replied, watching him closely.

He lifted his head and looked back at him. His eyes reflected the first few stars of the night and the orange-pink rays of last light. He was beauifully contrasted like a model in a magazine photoshoot.

"What I said to you was -" he paused.

"I didn't mean any of it, and I wish I could take it all back" he said, continuing.

I bit the inside of my lip gently. "You didn't deserve any of that and I just wanted to say I'm sorry" he said, glancing down at his hands.

Turning my head, I peered at a puddle on the road. The reflection of the sky stared back at me and I chose my next words carefully. "It wasn't just what you said Matthew, it was how you said it. I have always believed that what's said in anger comes straight from the truth" I spoke, turning to look at him.

"You said you didn't want my help, you said you didn't want to be my boyfriend and I think in some deep part of you that you tend to ignore, that's the truth" I said, studying his reaction.

"No" he said quickly.

Sadness and loss etched his features. I wanted to move to him, to press my fingers to his skin and wipe it all away. I wanted to be there for him.

"I don't believe that, because there is not a night where I don't think about you, my thoughts are constantly wondering if you're thinking about me or I imagine scenarios with just you and me" he replied.

My heart skipped a beat. "When you walked into my house with a tub of ice cream and a movie, I saw something in your eyes that made me absolutely sure of the decision to be friends again" he added.

"Shelby, you are incredible" he rasped out.

His voice sounding like he was about to cry. I had stopped shivering because I was lost in the warmth of his eyes. "Everything you have done is for everyone else, you woke up after almost drowning and you asked me if I was okay?" He said.

He looked away, raising his hand to wipe at his eye. "What I said to you was incredibly uncalled for and I said it because I was scared and afraid, those moments where Conner almost hit that other car I wanted to die, and then my other thought was- what about Shelby?" He asked as a sob broke through.

I couldn't speak. Instead, I stepped forward and Matthew hugged me. His buried his head into the crook of my shoulder as he cried. Tears threatened my own eyes. It was so rare to see a boy break down, with society standards telling them that if you did so.. it wasn't very 'manly'.

I waited until he held himself together before I spoke. "I was really hurt, it made me think that everything we had built up was a lie and it made me feel used" I replied.

My arms dropped as he stepped back to look at me clearer. "I could never use you, I never wanted this to hurt you" he said, as he wiped his eyes again.

I tilted my head down to look at the ground. "I love you Shelby, and I mean that" he said, making me look back up at him.

"And I'll understand if you need time or if you never want to see me again but I just needed you to know that" he said, before stepping back.