The Adventures of Martha Ridley Wayne

Chapter Fifteen: Fresh Starts

         Dad was probably worried, but he never really showed it. He didn't try to help me, he just lashed out when he would catch me sneaking into the house in the early hours of the morning. I wanted him to do something, anything, but he was drowning in grief just as much as I was. Blaming him for Jason's death certainly didn't help anything, but I was a stupid kid who needed to be put in my place.

Once Jason and I started hanging out in secret, I started to try to fix things with my father. I would ask him questions about the office or about cases he was working on and he would always answer. He didn't answer the questions as if I was his daughter though, he answered them as if he were talking to Lucius Fox or Jim Gordon. All business, nothing personal. Dad still had me on monitor duty for some of the bigger cases and Barbara and I worked well together.

I asked Alfred for advice on fixing things with dad and he said that it would be best to act like I used to. The problem was, I couldn't remember how I used to act. I remember that I was happy and so was dad, things were good, but I didn't think I could fake that. Instead of even trying, I started spending more time helping dad with cases or upgrading the batcomputer's tech. I stopped training in my room and went back to training down in the cave.

The most extreme thing I did to try and fix things with dad was being nice to Tim. I didn't want to do it because I was terrified that Jason would hate me for it, but he was okay with it when I ran it by him. He could tell that mine and dad's relationship deteriorating was killing me and he didn't want me to live my life for him anymore. Jason and his stupid guilt complex, he blamed himself for how the past five years had been his fault.

One night when Tim wasn't out on patrol with dad, I made my way down the hall to his room. I made sure to wait until everyone else (Alfred and Dick) was busy before enacting my plan to make amends with Tim. Jason told me that if I was going to do this, I couldn't do it just for dad, I had had to do it because I felt remorse. He felt sorry for trying to murder Tim, but he didn't plan on fixing things with him until I did. My brother thought it would make me seem like a worse person if I apologized after he did.

Upon opening the door, I barely managed to dodge the batarang that was thrown full-speed at my head. When he realized it was me standing in his doorway, Tim didn't relax or back down. He was standing, ready to fight with a knife in hand. I held my arms above my head after dropping my own knife, which I carried at all times, onto the floor. His stance relaxed slightly, but he certainly wasn't relaxed and he kept his knife was still gripped tightly in his hand.

"If I had wanted to kill you in your sleep, you'd have been dead years ago. Can we talk?," I asked.

"About what? You hate me more than you hate Bruce and that's saying something," Tim replied.

"I don't hate you and I don't hate him, that's what I'm here to talk to you about. We didn't get off to the best start," I said.

"You told me that you hoped I would die and you nearly killed me during training multiple times. So, yeah, you could say that."

"Look, it wasn't you that was the problem. It was me and Jason and my dad. My brother died and was replaced six months later as if he never even existed in the first place. Nobody would talk about him, afraid to upset me I suppose. Jason was gone in every aspect and my world went right along with him, which wasn't an excuse to take it out on you. I used to tell myself that it was valid, that my treatment of you was justified, but it wasn't. I'm sorry for everything I've done over the years, I truly am. I don't expect your forgiveness, but I had to say something," I said quietly.

"Wow, that's... a lot to take in. I don't hate you either, if that helps any. Your brother died in a terrible way at such a young age. I've been observing your behaviour over the years and you don't strike me as the malicious type. If I'm being honest, you just seemed broken and alone and desperate for anything that would make you feel better. Sex, drugs, alcohol, they were all ways that you tried to forget everything. I'm not saying that you aren't responsible for your actions, but your motive wasn't something anyone would take lightly," he replied.