Do I Still Love Her? (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Five

Willa's P.o.v.

I don't know what came over me. I know that this would be messing up so many things. I had a girlfriend and so did she. But I would never choose to take back that kiss.

"Th-that..." Alice stuttered.

"I kn-"

"Was wrong." She cut me off.

"What?"

"That was wrong. A mistake. And it won't happen again. That was one thing wrong and we can pretend it didn't happen." I know noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Alice don't cry. Honey I-"

"Don't call me that!" She yelled. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was clenching her fists. "I'm not yours! Don't... don't talk like that." She loosened up.

I moved closer so I could wipe her tears away but she held her hands out in front of her. "S-stay away from me."

"Alice-"

"Stop it! Just stop Willa! I can't- I don't- I just... please just stay away." She turned and ran away.

"Alice!" I called.

"Willa babe what are you doing here?" A voice asked.

I turned around and saw Madison looking at me with a smile and her head tilted slightly. Oh yeah... I'm still dating someone.

"I was... it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go." I shook my head.

"Aw I was hoping you would spend time with me. I didn't see you at all after this morning. Were you alright? Baby?"

I nodded. "Just fine. I'm sorry Mads but I've got to go."

I ran off in the direction Alice went and left a dumb founded Madison behind. Where did she go? Where would Alice go...

~~~

I searched for hours. I couldn't find her anywhere so I gave up. She must have gone to see her girlfriend. So long chances of... I was about to say getting back together with her. I have a girlfriend and she does too but I was still about to... Bloody hell. Do I still love my ex-girlfriend? God why does college have to be worse than high school already?

~Switching to Alice's P.o.v.~

I ran away from Willa and she wasn't following me this time. I'm not sure if I should be happy or disappointed. I need to talk to someone about this. But now my best friend is my girlfriend who I can't tell that my ex kissed me. I can't tell Lizzy because she'd just suggest seeing the therapist again.

I had slowed down to walking and I had my head down. I didn't think I'd run into anyone.

"Oh I'm sorry I wasn't-"

"Alice?" I moved the hair out of my face and stared at her.

"Hi Misty."

"Hey you okay?" Concern flashed across her face. Oh yeah I'm probably all pink from crying. Plus my face is still wet.

"Fine."

"Alice don't lie to me. Why are you crying?"

Oh shit I'm crying again already. I couldn't hold in the sobs and just let it go. Misty pulled me in and I cried against her chest. She waited until my sobs had quieted down to let go of me.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"Please don't tell Jamie." I cried.

"I won't."

"And don't tell Willa I talked to you about this."

"Willa? What's going on?"

I shook my head. "Not here."

She gave me a questioning look before realizing what I meant.

"Oh! Follow me. We'll go to my dorm. Grace is staying the night with Kingston so we'll have the dorm to ourselves."

~~~

"So what happened?"

I took in a deep breath. "Well... you see I never wanted to break up with Willa. So when she broke it off it hurt me terribly. I had been suffering from depression before I met her but because I met her I was able to be happy again. So when I lost her I became depressed again. But it was worse this time. I got a therapist, started drinking, got hospitalized, and then got cleaned up and came here. When I saw her again... it hurt. I tried not to show any emotion though. I was so upset that she had moved on and gotten a new girlfriend that I lied and said that Jamie was my girlfriend. Then later Jamie actually did become my girlfriend. But then Willa came to see Madison but she was out and we got to talking. I yelled at her for just leaving me and she tried to apologize. I ran outside and she caught up to me. When I tried to go she grabbed my wrist and pulled me back and kissed me. I told her it was wrong, we both had girlfriends, and then I left and ran into you."

"Damn." Misty said. "I see why you're so upset."

"What should I do now? I didn't let Willa explain why she kissed me or anything and I don't know if she still likes me or what but I've got Jamie and I don't want to hurt her."

"Alice first of all you need to calm down." I took in a deep breath and let it go. "Good?" I nodded. "Alright then. I'm not good at relationships, as you should have seen from me and Chelsea's, but I'll tell you what I'd do and see if it helps you any. I'd wait to tell Jamie until I figured more things out. I'd ask Willa why she kissed me and tell her not to do it again because I was with someone and so was she. I'd leave and not see Willa again. I'd tell Jamie what happened and beg for her forgiveness. How's that?"

"Perfect. Thank you Misty." I gave her a hug. "I'm going to do that. Tomorrow. I'm just really tired now. This was too emotionally draining. Thank you so much."

"Anytime." She said.

"Oh and can I stay here tonight? I don't really want to go back there and see either Willa or Madison."

"Of course. You can borrow some of my pajamas if you want."

"Thanks Misty. You're the best."

"Anytime."