Do I Still Love Her? (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Four

Willa's P.o.v.

I don't know why it hurt so much when I found out Alice had a girlfriend. I said that it was nice to see she was dating someone but for some reason I really had wanted her to deny that she was her girl. God I'm acting like such a jealous ex. I'm the one who said we needed to call it off in the first place. Wait I was the one to say that... did Alice even want to break up? Surely she felt what I did about us being so distant. Didn't she?

Madison said she was taking an antidepressant last night. Did my leaving her make her depressed? She was always so happy and bubbly. When I saw her a moment ago she was so cold. What did I do to her? Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe something bad happened with her dad or Lizzy. Maybe she was upset about something to do with her dad or Lizzy when I broke up with her and that's why she's depressed. I shook my head. I need to stop thinking about these scenarios that probably never happened.

"-lla? Willa?" I looked over at Madison. Was she talking to me?

"Huh?"

"You didn't hear any of what I just said did you?" She asked.

"Sorry. I'll be back in a moment." I got up and started walking away from the table. Madison called after me but I ignored her. I found myself walking down the path I always took to get to the fountain. I stopped and stared at the sight before me. There was Alice. Kissing that other girl, Jamie.

I spun around on my heels and started running away from there. I was blinking back tears when I got to me and Grace's dorm. I unlocked the door and immediately fell onto the bed when I got in. Why am I blinking back tears? Why would I cry? I have Madison. I love her. I love Madison. Don't I?

I wiped my eyes and moved to where I was properly laying on my bed. I love Madison. I love her. I have to. I can't... I can't still like my ex. I broke up with her. Sighing, I pulled the covers overtop of myself. Screw classes. I'm taking this Friday off.

~~~

When I woke up I rubbed my eyes and checked the time. 5:34 PM. I should go see Madison. I went to the bathroom and fixed my hair and makeup before slipping on my black Vans. I walked down the halls and out of the building to go to her building which was on the other side of the campus. When I made it there I knocked on the door. I hope she's in. Oh shit I forgot-

"Hello? Oh. Hey Willa."

~~ Switching to Alice's P.o.v. for a moment ~~

What's she doing here?!

"Uh hey. Madison in?" She asked.

Oh. "No she just went out. She said she wouldn't be out for long though so you can stay and wait if you'd like."

"Sure." She came in and sat down on Madison's bed. "The room looks so different now that your stuffs here."

I ignored the comment and went to sit on my bed with a book in hand. I started trying to find where I left off.

"Where's your girlfriend?" She asked. I stopped flipping through the pages and stared down at the book.

"She's out. And her name is Jamie." I said. After that kiss this morning she asked me out and I said yes despite my worries about dating again. And here is one of the worries now.

Willa coughed awkwardly and started tapping her foot. I was going to go back to my book but Willa decided to bring up what I wanted acknowledged the least right now.

"Is it true you're on antidepressants?"

" Y-yes."

"Is it because of me?"

I turned around to look at her. "Why do you think that?" I didn't think that she'd even worry about the possibility that she was the cause. She sort of was but that's not the point I don't guess.

"Well I was just thought that it was either me, or something happened with your dad or Lizzy, or maybe both..." I looked down again. "So it was me, huh?"

"Can we not talk about this Willa? Madison will be back soon enough." Oh god I hope she comes back soon.

"Alice I still care about you. We might not be dating anymore but I still care about whether or not your alright." Oh now that's just bullshit.

"If you really cared you wouldn't have just completely left me. If you cared you would have asked one of who I thought was our friends to check up on me. Maybe if you had shown any care I wouldn't have been like I was." I snapped. My eyes widened at what I had just said and so did hers.

"Alice..."

"No. Just no. I'm going." I got up and left the room. I ran down the hall and out the building. I bent over and caught my breath when I was outside leaning against the wall.

"Alice!" Shit did she follow after me?

"Go away. You left me and now I'm fine without you." I said.

"Alice please! I only left you because you were being so distant. We never saw each other."

"You know why I was so busy! I was trying to help my own fucking sister not to mention trying to keep a job! So what, if I didn't do that would you and I still be together? Is that it? As soon as someone stops being with you 24/7 you just leave them?"

"No Alice I just thought..."

"Thought what?"

"That maybe you didn't like us being so distant either. That you wanted to break up too."

"Well news flash Willa, I didn't. I didn't want to lose you or all my other friends. But that doesn't matter anymore. I have a great best friend and girlfriend now named Jamie." I was going to walk away when Willa grabbed onto my wrist.

"What do you-"

I was cut off when she smashed her lips against mine.