Drifting in the Space of Ramblings

Ramblings About Animals

Floating like this, in the infinite, made me remember Duke. My goldfish who lived in a round aquarium. I must have been about six years old when I got him from my grandfather, the glass contained no decoration, and he just floated there in the void like I am now.

I must be a fish in God's eyes.

Duke jumped out of the aquarium when I was away for a weekend with my parents on some trip to the beach. I remember coming back and seeing him dead, dry, and lifeless on the floor of my room. I cried. I never wanted any pets after Duke died, strange how these things affect a child. I wonder now if his life was worth it, staying in an empty place, floating, just watching other people come and go... Living. Maybe my life has been exactly like Duke's, maybe that little fish affected me so much that I sought exactly the same things for my life.

Empty.

Floating.

Observing.

People coming and going.

I recently read somewhere that animals are the only beings that do not claim a God, but they are the only ones who can live in harmony with Him. I can't remember now where I read that.

The worst thing humanity did was come down from the trees. We should have stayed up there. Monkeys. No roads and buildings. Being able to step on the grass, eat fruits, swim in rivers, and feel the rain hitting our wet fur. We definitely messed it all up. Everything is rotten and spoiled today.

The theory of evolution is a big joke from Darwin, the big truth is that we are devolving from mammals to parasites. Evolution is the word that least defines the human being; evolved beings do not create weapons of mass destruction, do not accumulate wealth while their brothers die of hunger, do not kill out of envy, greed, and sheer unrestrained violence. We are so immoral and undeserving of stepping on the planet where we live... This same planet that I observe now, which seems so calm and peaceful from the outside, so free of problems and parasites, but is dying as its blood is slowly sucked away.

I wish I had had a dog, all my friends had dogs, but I never wanted one because of what happened with Duke. I imagined coming home and seeing the dog dead, dry, and lifeless on the floor of my room, and I immediately gave up the idea of having one. My mother bought a cat after I moved out, but we never got along... Me and the cat. As soon as I visited, the cat would do everything to make me realize that the couch was his and his alone. It was as if he were saying to me, "You got out of here, now this place is mine!" and I had to lower my head and give up to a cat.

Cats eat fish, I guess that's why I never liked them.

"I'm sorry, Duke" - I say softly - "I'm sorry if I didn't take care of you properly" - and I continue to float in the void like a fish.