Drifting in the Space of Ramblings

Prologue

"Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!"

That's all I can think as I watch the space station drifting away from me.

"Attach safety cable 1, release safety cable 2" - simple procedure, even a child can follow it. I got distracted, made a mistake... My body is thrown into space, and I'm lost, probably forever. I pick up speed, and soon the space station will be a tiny speck on my horizon.

"What a horizon..."

I can see planet Earth almost like it's a mountain nearby, as if I could touch it. I wonder if I'll still see it when my oxygen runs out. Will I have a vision of home when I take my last breath? I hope so.

How much air do I have left to breathe? Probably about six hours, enough time to panic. My body trembles at the thought that the next few hours will be my last. I start sweating cold and have a panic attack. I try to calm down to save some air, but I feel ridiculous trying to save air... It's all a waste of time.

I feel the cold sweat dripping down my face. I wish I could wipe it away, but the helmet prevents me from doing so. I try to rub my forehead on the glass and manage to do it somewhat. The glass feels colder than usual, smooth and icy like the infinity that surrounds me. Now there's a sweat stain on my helmet, obstructing my vision on the right side.

My eyes start to tear up, I'm crying, but it's strange because I don't realize it. This has never happened before. Whenever I cry, I know I'm crying, but now it's different, it's like someone else is crying, but it's my eyes filled with tears.

"Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!"

At that moment, I tried to attach the cable quickly, but I was slow as a snail... I remember a passage from the movie Apocalypse Now where some character talks about a snail walking on the edge of a razor, or something like that, I imagine the snail moving and with every millimeter, the cut on its body deepening. That's how I feel. I'm the snail on a razor, having my body cut with every millimeter I move, the problem is that my blade is infinite.

I watch as Earth and the space station get smaller and smaller, I look around and see the stars, always static, unchanged, and bright in the black veil that covers all of creation.

So this is how the last hours of my life begin, this is how I begin to drift in a space of ramblings...