Welcome to Sealantis

chapter 3: water we waiting for? filler content?

"Well, I finally feel bad for my sister for once," a new voice called out behind me. "She's had to deal with you all semester? Yikes."

I whirled around incredulously. Standing at the mouth of the forest were none other than siblings Trident and Andy, looking strangely ready for battle with their black camouflage pants and black leather jackets. Andy caught my eye and waved excitedly, a cup in her hand.

"Hi!" she yelled. "I got Harry a cuppa like you asked!"

Harry broke out into a grin. "Cheers, mate! I was really craving a cuppa! You're the best, Ands." He jogged over to grab it, and Andy blushed. I crossed my arms petulantly... for no reason.

"Why are you guys just standing there? They're freaking dangerous!"

Trident paid my concerns no attention and instead turned to face the Sealiens. "I thought I told you two to approach nonthreateningly! Y'know, approach with a smile, keep your hands where they can see them?"

What?

"We did!" the left Sealien wailed. "We showed our teeth and raised our hands in the human sign of submissive greeting!"

"Like this!" The right Sealien bared their teeth again as they held their arms out above me.

Andy face palmed.

"You surface-level psychrolutes marcidus, that's the bear impression!" Trident scolded.

"Uh, I take it that you all know each other?" Harry asked.

"Of course! Me, Mat!!@*#&$, and Sera%$&* go way back."

I swear, that's what he said. It was like he started out in English and then glitched out and shifted to some alien language while doing a weirdly accurate impression of the automated voice at the McDonald's self-service portals. 

The names were so absurd, I half expected Trident to say, Gotcha! I don't know those weirdos! but Trident just strode across the green and greeted the Sealiens with an intricate handshake that involved far too much spine-wiggling and not enough Sealien-stabbing.

And that was about where I hit my limit.

I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion from running and fighting, or maybe the sheer frustration that I couldn't avenge my parents properly, or perhaps a blend of everything, but the sheer ridiculousness of the Sealiens' names hit me like a ton of bricks, and I cracked a smile.

"Matt and Sarah?" I asked, a giggle bubbling up inside me. 

Andy shrugged and nodded. "Close enough. I'm not sure humans have the ability to repl- huh?"

If you're wondering why Andy, Princess of Never Shutting Up, suddenly stopped speaking, it's probably because I burst out laughing hysterically.

"Dude, why are your names so weird? It's like you've got some grandma and grandpa's names and then forgot which programming language you were typing in when you introduced yourself!"

Mat!!@*#&$ and Sera%$&* blinked at me, their eyes doing that disconcerting sideways squish that sounded like a flopping, dying fish.

I turned to face the boys. "Edward, Harry, you're with me, right? Sarah and Matt are TOTALLY old people names!" I pretended to hobble forward with squinted eyes, my back curved sharper than Edward's canine teeth. "Oh, I'm Sarah, and I'm an old granny! When I was a kid, we had a PLAGUE and recorded ourselves going cross-eyed in front of a camera for the Tik Tak! Oh! Watch me whip, boys! Watch me nanny!"

Harry sighed gustily. "It's nae-nae, Millie. Nae-nae." He demonstrated the move perfectly.

Andy copied him.