Suicide, Skittles and Skates [✓]

Chapter 05

CHAPTER FIVE

She's laughing.

The sound is so happy, like she's just heard the funniest thing in the world. I'm smiling, smiling so much because we're going ice-skating like we used to when we were kids. I'm smiling because life is great and I have everything.

And then all of a sudden, I have nothing.

A loud screeching of tires pierces my thoughts, the glaring headlights of the truck ahead blinding me. There's no time to react, I feel the air stand still and the laughing next to me turns to screaming. There's a crash so loud my eardrums are throbbing; or maybe that's my heartbeat I'm hearing. My windshield shatters, the glass raining down on us. I can smell the rubber and smoke, so strong my lungs ache from trying not to inhale. And blood. I can smell blood. I know I have cuts all over; there's blood dripping down my forehead and my left shoulder is numb.

Everything is turning around, my head hits the steering wheel and I start to lose focus.

It's this moment in which I lose everything and yet, I notice the sky. The clouds are moving; they block out the sunlight almost as though the sun needs their protection. I push this away from my mind and scream. I call out my sister's name because I can't hear her anymore. I can't hear anything. The screeching has stopped, the silence is deafening and I'm fighting to keep my eyes open but it's a futile attempt.

The darkness comes and I know she's dead, I just know it so I let it overtake me. I welcome it.

Alex jumped up from his bed, awoken by his own screaming. His skin was coated in cold sweat, eyes wide open, recalling what he had just seen in his mind, his heart beating frantically as he unsuccessfully tried to calm himself down.

He remembered many years ago when his mum had taken both the kids to watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in the cinema when it had come out. Alice had had nightmares of Aragog for weeks and she would wake up screaming, just like he had just done. He had always been the one to wake up and wrap his arms around her for comfort. He only wished there was somebody to comfort him like that now.

He turned around to check the time and groaned – it was only 4:30pm. He had fallen straight into bed as soon as he had gotten home from school, too mentally exhausted to even take off his shoes. "Ugh, I barely slept for an hour," he grumbled, pulling himself up and out of bed.

He hated being in his flat. There was such a stark difference between it and the one he had shared with his sister for the last few years. That one had been larger and cheerful, with painted walls and comfortable furniture. After the accident he hadn't been able to face walking around it, seeing her clothes scattered all over the place and her bed still undone as though she could walk through the door any minute which, of course, she never would. So he had packed up everything he owned and moved into a smaller one-bedroom flat with plain cream walls that suffocated him and an eerie silence that enveloped him day after day.

Alex sighed loudly, grabbing his leather jacket as well as his camera and walked out of the door, with no idea where to go but with the knowledge that he needed to get out of there. That's why it was a shock when he looked up, after walking around aimlessly for ten minutes, to see himself standing near the ice-skating rink. Again. Maybe it was because it was the place that they had been going to when the accident had occurred; perhaps that was why he felt drawn to it.

It was funny how they hadn't been able to find the place and had gotten terribly lost that day, but now he could walk there without even thinking about it. It was as though his subconscious wanted to make him suffer.

The building was pale blue, the paint making it look new even though he knew it had been around since his parents had been kids. 'The Arena' was its proper name, the words in huge navy letters, but nobody ever referred to it as that. It had always been 'the rink' and nothing more nor less.

His dad had taken the twins there on their seventh birthday for the first time. Alex had been terrified and had ended up falling over every second, while Alice had laughed at him and had managed to glide across the ice after only a few tries. Although he had been annoyed at her for being great at it while he'd been flopping about like a dead fish, it had been a great day, a memory of his family he would always cherish.

Sure, they weren't perfect. His parents didn't agree on things and would argue occasionally. Both Alex and Alice enjoyed annoying each other and they fought a lot, like most siblings. She would twist his ears and he would pull her hair and they would continue as such until someone pulled them apart. It hadn't been perfect but they were his family. They had always been there, and he'd loved them.

But now it was just him, and he had never felt so alone.

Banishing that thought from his mind, he made his way around the back of the looming building, towards the rusted stairs. He climbed up quietly, about to make his way towards the edge where he had been standing that day, when he noticed a silhouette in front of him. She was sitting down near the edge, her dark hair slightly waving in the breeze, her eyes looking towards the sunset.

Kalila.

He knew it was her from the second he laid his eyes on her back. He walked a few steps closer until they were in the exact same place they had first met almost three weeks ago, except this time Alex was the onlooker. Without making a sound to announce his presence, he carefully went and sat next to her.

"Hey."

She looked up at him, startled, her eyebrows rising in surprise. Kalila had been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed his presence at all. She smiled slightly in acknowledgement at him before turning her head back towards the slowly setting sun in front of them.

There was a coloured haze above all the old building. Oranges and pinks blended together seamlessly, the sky lighting up like a fire. The sun was partially cloaked by clouds as it sank lower and lower, saying goodbye to the city, moving so slowly – as if it didn't want to leave them.

It was beautiful.

A cold breeze passed, tousling Alex's hair almost like a human touch. It made him shiver as he stood up, lifting his camera from around his neck. He placed it on the ground behind him, putting it on the timer setting before sitting back down. Kalila hadn't noticed; she was still staring intently at the towering buildings and the darkening sky ahead. The camera beeped behind them to indicate the picture had been taken and she shook her head out of the trance she was in. She smiled up at him – although it was a sad smile – as they stood up together, she dusting the back of her jeans with her hands.

"The sun gives us warmth and light. It's the reason for life but it could cause complete destruction just as easily... A lot of things are like that, aren't they?" she whispered as though her voice would disturb the peaceful atmosphere.

Alex blinked and then it was over – the sun had set and he was standing on a roof in the middle of London in the dark with a girl he couldn't figure out. Every time she said something to him, he was left amazed. She was definitely not like any of the girls he had ever been around before. 'It's like her thoughts are almost poetic,' he thought in wonder, before smiling back at her.

He understood what she was saying and she knew it. She knew he would understand because, just like her, he had lost everything to him.