The Wrong Woman

56. Mouna

What I witnessed when I went to the apartment building was not at all what I was expecting.

Rani was standing under the nook of the stairs that led up to the second floor, away from the watchman's eyes, with Dr Arshan. They were not just talking.

They were kissing.

I gasped audibly, my hands slapped over my mouth and Dr Arshan startled, pulling Rani's—my hands—away from his chest. He cleared his throat when his gaze settled on me, bending his head slightly into a curt nod.

"Rani. Hello. Sorry, you had to catch us in this...not so professional position."

Rani looked at me with a blank expression on her face and I couldn't tell if she was upset or angry that I had interrupted. The shaking of my fists beside my body told me that I, however, was very angry.

I was deliberately stopping myself from hugging and touching Dhruv so it would not be a disgrace to Rani's body but she did not think twice about that and kissed Dr Arshan! When we switched back, what would I say? What would I do when he asked me about it?!

I contemplated calling him Dr but felt it would be formal considering their history, "Veer," I said, calmly, "it's fine. Can I please speak to R-Mouna?"

"Of course." I hoped it was only a kiss of chance but the way he turned to her and cupped her cheek and whispered something told me that it was very much more than that. My stomach dropped. He walked past me, shooting me a kind smile as he did so. I stormed up to Rani, wanting to do what I did to Dhruv accidentally and step on her foot with the heels very deliberately.

A rude thought but one I thought was deserved.

"What?" Rani asked, leaning against the wooden wall.

"You shouldn't be doing that in my body! Dr Arshan is a good man but now he will think that I like him."

"First of all, we haven't switched back. Your plan didn't work. It never will. Second of all, relax. He kissed me so clearly he likes me."

I couldn't believe what was happening. She was right with the plan part. The plan didn't work. I was still here. Nothing was moving. I didn't faint. The bracelet didn't loosen. It was becoming more and more obvious that we were stuck.

But I was more focused on another aspect of this.

"You kissed him back because you still have feelings for him," I accused, "don't you? What about Dhruv?"

"I thought I did," she mumbled.

"What?"

"I said thought I liked Veer," she said, louder. "Seeing him again like this excited me. I thought what I was feeling for him was reignited feelings again so I kissed him back to find out."

"And?" I barely made out the word as I waited.

"And...I'm not sure I do like him." Did that mean what I think it did? Before I could say anything, she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the nook and up the stairs. She smiled at the watchman who eyed her as if he knew what she was doing all along. This was a strange thing to see—me interacting with the man I had seen for many years and never bothered speaking to. Now here he was, a part of her life in the smallest of ways.

When she opened the door, I looked around. "Where's Mohi?"

"Bedroom. She's asleep. Why do you think I was out here making out with Veer?" When she put it like that, I grimaced but relented. The peeling dark green walls and the out-of-style off-white kitchen stood out at me and I couldn't help but smile. I breathed in the scent of ginger and cardamom in the air. I loved coming here, even if it was brief.

We sat on the wooden bench that was incredibly uncomfortable compared to the fine furniture in Rani's house and at Dhruv's parents house, too. It made the stark reality that I was nowhere near on either of their level very bright.

And the reality that I did not belong here very real.

"I don't want to be stuck in this body anymore," I blurted. Rani looked like she had been getting ready to say something before I beat her to it. Her features softened. She didn't ask why, like I had expected but gave her a reason anyway. The words poured out of me before I could stop them. Truer words I had never recognised until then.

"I don't want Dhruv to be hurt anymore. This is—what I am doing is catfishing but in a magical way. Being in your body has been a blessing." My chin quivered but I pushed through. "I have hated myself for a long time. My parents died when I was young and I only ever had Mohi. I had to drop out of school to work and only recently have I started to go to school again and it was hard for me. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to be someone else and I got to be you. Now, being in your life, I have become confident and I can speak to people and fix issues without being afraid. It gave me a chance to understand who I am." The more I spoke, the more I realised this what I wanted. This was what I was missing. "I...I love myself. I may not be a beautiful supermodel like you but the person that I am regardless of whose body I'm in—that's the person I love and whom everyone else has accepted. I want to be me again."

Rani listened to me until the very end. The rickety fan above us circled around us, whipping strands of our hair into the air. She then said, slowly, "You're right. When you came last time, you gave me something to think about." My heart stopped. "It wasn't until I was in your body that...that I realised there was more to life than having adventures and being successful. Life doesn't end there. Your boss Raj helped me realise that, you know. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Dhruv."

Tears that were on the surface came out and I ducked my head to hide it. This was what was meant to happen from the very beginning and it was going to be it. Even if we would never switch back, I had to somehow distance myself again.

I may be in Rani but I would never be her.

And this whole journey helped me understand that I didn't want to be, even if it meant I could never have Dhruv.