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"¿mi amor? por favor refresca tu cabeza." my mother said attempting to get me to stop packing my sister things.
"no mama." I said throwing her cheap and raggedy clothes into a black trash bag. hot tears streamed down my face as I continued throwing everything she owned into this small bag.
my mother kept speaking but I wasn't listening I couldn't take this anymore.. this was MY house but it just-
it just doesn't feel the same looking at her stale room rot away. the strong smell of cheap perfume embroidered in the walls, to her untouched make sets, it hurts my heart to much. It's been three years i'm tired of living in the same clutch.
she's not dead but she mineswell be in her weaken state.
"AZARI" my mother screamed pulling me away from the room, tears streamed down her face making me break down even more than I had intended.
she pulled me into a tight hug attempting to ease me but it wasn't going to work this time. i've held on long enough I can't anymore.
"i'm sorry but mama, I can't! I can't do this anymore it's killing me." I said pulling away from her hug to look up at her.
my eyes where burning at the tears that where falling but I didn't care I was sick of being sick and tired of being depressed. I wanna.. fight back.
"de acuerdo querido" she nodded slowly backing away from the room. she went down the hall i'm guessing towards minnie's room.
I wiped away my tears and continued to clean out the room. I cried looking at my little sisters stuff gon to waste but what's done is done.
there is nothing more to do than to heal and move on.
and this is how I will start. someone has to make money in this family, someone has to make sure we survive. it was always me but still.. it feels harder now without her.
after placing most of her old clothes in a black bag I set it in her closet. it was close to 3 and I know I had to pick up sakai from school or he was gonna have a fit.
I left the room closing the door behind myself. I went to my room to grab my purse and phone. I glanced at myself in the mirror instantly frowning at my weird face.
"what the fuck" I said attempting to wipe away all the dry tears and crust. I took a small wipe and cleaned my face before looking up, I smiled at myself before slinging my bag over my shoulder.
I picked up my phone and wallet before heading out.
"bye mama i'll be back!" I said but didn't get a response. I shook my head and left.
she was always like this. every time I wanted to attempt to move past my sister my mother always shuts me out. she claims i'm forgetting her which isn't true in the smallest amount.
