Sprinkling Fling ✓

30.

I'm in his car again.

We're driving along the same road as where we stopped yesterday. The same spot he confessed about Tamara cheating with Gabe on him.

I feel guilt. I should've told Del about Chase yesterday, but I didn't—meaning I have to tell him today. I don't want to be another person playing with his emotions. It's going to hurt him more the longer I keep it in.

I cannot break his trust, not after she did—so badly.

I haven't spoken to Chase since he stood me up. There were no accidental meets, his routine much different from mine. I wondered if he was avoiding me. I'll keep wondering until I speak to him again.

I need to know if he didn't show on purpose.

What is it that I said, making him not want to show up again? I must've done something. I try to rewind our conversation in my head. Was it the talk of my ex that put him off? When I told him Bodie found someone better, did that make Chase think I must be too low for his standards then?

What else did I say?

Maybe it's the fact that I currently have a boyfriend that made him stop wanting to speak with me. Or does he dislike my taste in music—I mean, Del did say I have a weird taste.

I'm trying to dig into my mind to what has gone wrong, maybe because I friend-zoned him. But I also forced so much drama on him, he did say he wanted to hear me vent, but maybe, Chase felt like he had no choice but to say yes. I've told him so much about my personal life, but I'm still clueless about him.

What do I actually know about him, not an awful lot? He's always careful and reserved with the things he shares. He is not a transparent guy. We did agree to stay anonymous—maybe I've overshared.

What if he figured out who I am?

It could be possible, wouldn't it? I've been too obvious about certain things. Maybe he knows my identity and believes all the rumors that Tamara has told about me.

I need to turn my fucking brain off.

No, I need to tell Del first. I now notice that we made it to the highway. I was lost in my mind like always.

Okay, calm down. I will tell him. Now. I will be stuck in this car with him for at least four more hours, and the guilt will eat me alive the longer I don't tell him.

"I want to tell you something." I start.

Del must hear the seriousness in my voice as he turns to look at me with worried eyes. His brows lift, encouraging me to speak, but no words have come out of my mouth.

"I haven't been completely open with you."

"About what?" He asks.

"I've been talking to another guy." I admit, and I see his hands tighten around the wheel, "It's not like you think." I quickly say before he draws any conclusions. "We've never been sexually involved, except for that one time... but that was before you, I promise."

I feel like I'm just rambling on and not sounding convincing. I can't anticipate Del's reaction—I fear it won't be good.

"We just talk, that's all. He helps me with my problems and is a good listener."

I don't mention his name, it's not his real name, and he will only try to find out who it is.

I watch his face, with furrowed eyebrows and a frown on his lips.

"And you can't talk to me about these things?" He asks. He sounds slightly offended.

"It's not that simple." I sigh.