Harper's Rules 1 & 2

Chapter 20: Jake

A sense of betrayal rose up inside of me, worse than any of my hangover symptoms and left a dry, sawdust-like taste on my tongue. The outside world shrunk around me as my eyes only saw Harper, happy, with another guy.

I should've been angry. I was a little, but the old version of me would've been entirely angry. The old me would've punched both my fists through the glass that separated us, then into that guy's face. But instead, my tongue dried inside my mouth, my chest felt crushed under an invisible implosion of pressure, and a weighted heaviness sagged my limbs until my left shoulder hit the brick front outside the building.

Tears blurred and clouded over my eyes, tickled as they dripped hot trails over my cheeks, and all my coherence was shot to shit. My entire body locked up and tightened. Painful contracts squeezed my chest muscles contracted painfully hard, my throat squeezed in on itself, and my lungs burned.

She replaced me.

Within two fucking weeks... or one night, who the fuck knows.

In the back of my mind, a tiny voice I'd ignored just knew that Harper ended our agreement at some point because that's all it was to her. But I wasn't prepared for a cruel slap in the face that she'd finally opened up to me emotionally, then replaced me.

Fuck, and I thought - I'm so stupid.

I was an absolute fucking fool in that I thought she'd wanted more, a deeper relationship, like I did. When I woke up with her in my bed, I caught the brightness in her sleepy eyes, rasp in her voice, and a beautiful smile. Her bare face was more beautiful than she realized, even with her blonde eyelashes and freckles she hated. The fact I'd seen it raw and pure meant more to me than any public displays of affection or emotional declarations of feelings and felt like the biggest idiot for convincing myself that had been enough for me.

Doesn't matter now.

It didn't matter that my heart kicked to the curb wasn't what I wanted. The gaping hole left in the center of my chest felt like an open and exposed wound.

My fists slammed into a rough, texture surface and I was only vaguely aware of the pain that burst open and radiated through my left hand's knuckles. A vacant look down showed blood pooled up and seeped out the skin, broken from the punch I'd thrown into the brick wall on the side of her dining hall.

A sob rose up my throat and choked off my words, my breath. I gasped and my lungs burned like I couldn't breathe because I fucking couldn't. The part of her that wedged itself inside me, twisted its way into my heart, had just been ripped out and tossed aside like it never mattered... like I'd never mattered.

A soft sound, muffled through the glass, drew my attention to Harper's head drawn back.

She's laughing. Smiling.

Fuck, she sat ten feet from me, happy with someone else and all I thought about was how fucking beautiful she looked. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, which showed off her face and long, slender neck. The cream-colored sweater she wore fit perfectly with her natural-look makeup.

I didn't know who the tool she sat across from, all I saw was the back of his head. With short brown hair and hints of black ink up the back of his neck, he didn't seem like her type but all that mattered was he wasn't me.

My chest heaved with the labored breath I dragged in and, by the time I exhaled, my breath turned into a sob. All ten fingers raked over my hair, clenched around my ears, even cupped the back of my neck as I closed my eyes.

Breathe, Jake.

With a sharp turn, I slammed right into another person on the sidewalk. Small hands reached out and fisted my T-shirt, but the brown eyes that flipped up at me took away my breath. They went from shocked wide in surprise to wider with recognition.