Brilliance~{Euphoria}

21- Recovering

No matter what Blair did she knew that she would love Nate. She hated him. She really did. But she loved him more. She was afraid of what he would do if she left him.

"Blair you have to do something, you have been laying in your bed for like 3 days straight," My mom said knocking at my door. I stared at my alarm clock. 9:34 PM. It's been 2 weeks since that night with Nate. We've acted like nothing happened but it's hard when you feel like everything is about him. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to sit here and let the hours pass. My mom thinks i'm depressed. Geneva thinks I need to see a fucking therapist.

"Okay mom, Jesus," I said annoyed. She pursed her lips and shut the door. I slowly sat up. The idea of seeing Nate each day was suffocating. Our relationship was suffocating. I stood up and looked out the window. Nate stood in his room pacing back and forth. His dad was screaming at him. I watched Nate's hands move up and down as he yelled at him. With fear I saw Cal march over and shove Nate against the wall. I flinched as Nate's body slammed against his wall. I watched Marsha walk into Nate's room yelling. I covered my mouth as Cal threw a book at her and screamed at her to get out. He slammed the door as she ran away. He started punching Nate over and over again. I watched as Cal punched the window. A shattered spot formed. Cal walked out of Nate's room. I took a deep breath and processed what just happened. Nate slid down the wall sobbing. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. Looking out the window I saw Marsha and Cal get into a car. They screamed at each other as they drove off. I quickly ran downstairs and over to Nate's house. Opening the front door I went upstairs to Nate's room. The door was slightly cracked. I heard Nate's slow sobs. Slowly peeking around the door I saw him hold his shoulder. He looked up at me. Tears were mixing with the blood on his cheeks. I pursed my lips and I shut the door and sat down in front of him. He wrapped his arms around me and sobbed harder. I stroked the back of his hair as he cried into my shoulder. Blood stained the walls and carpet.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. He continued to cry.

"I can't fucking do this anymore Blair," He said crying.

"I know," I said quietly. I pulled back and wiped his cheeks softly. He looked at the ground. I placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you," I said.

"Promise?" He asked. I nodded hesitantly.

"Promise," I said rubbing his cheek.

"What am I supposed to do," He said.

"I don't know," I said softly.

"Just don't do anything stupid," I said lifting up his chin to meet my eyes. He nodded slowly. I smiled softly and looked down.

"Let's get you cleaned up," I said pulling him up as we stumbled over to his shower. I set him down and started the water. Pulling off his shirt and sweatpants he sat there staring at the wall. He looked miserable. My heart broke. I pulled his boxers off and tested to see if the water was warm. I took of the head and pulled it down to us. Rinsing him off I cleaned his face and arms. He looked up and stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"Thank you, for taking care, of me," He said smiling softly. The blood in his teeth showed. I smiled. I turned off the water and grabbed him some clean clothes. Helping him get dressed I wrapped his shoulder. I combed his hair and ran my fingers through it. He laid down on his bed and I pulled a blanket over him. I turned on his TV and played some football. He stared at the TV with no emotion. I turned off his light and opened the door slowly.

"Blair, can you stay with me?" I heard him say quietly. I took a deep breath. Fuck my life. I turned around and shut the door. Walked over to his bed I laid down and got under the blanket. I nestled my head next to his and wrapped my arm around his torso.

After a couple hours Nate finally fell asleep. I left and went back to my house. Walking into my room I flinched as I saw Geneva sitting on my bed. She looked up at me with a worried but angry expression.

"Where the fuck were you?" She asked.

"Taking care of Nate," I said. I watched her lip tremble as tears escaped her eyes. I could see her trying to keep herself together. Quietly shutting the door I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What the fuck is going on with you Blair?" she asked crying. I sat down next to her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You've been gone all the time, with Nate, with Rue, with Fez, all these people, and you've changed. You're not the same, happy, energetic Blair I know, you're sad, and tired," She said looking into my eyes. My eyes slowly watered as I bit the side of my mouth.

"I've just been helping them, they need someone to take care of them," I said.

"When will you start taking care of yourself, because no one is," Geneva said. My heart sunk. She was right. I looked at the ground.

"I just want my sister back," She said holding back tears. I looked up at her.

"I'm right here," I said. She sobbed as I hugged her.

"I miss you."