She'd been imprisoned in every way. She couldn't even think to take a step out of place. She had disappeared into the furthest shadow of her mind to escape and conceded to the man who had ruined her.
Submission had been forced onto her until she...
As the days go by my frustration grows. Then days turn to weeks. Weeks turn to months. And the months almost stretch into a year. After a while, her pain and submission meant nothing to me. Now, it's started to hurt me too and I don't understand it.
I am powerful, it's is my right to watch those who are weaker cower. I've even gone as far as to turn my attention back to my old concubines. Every time I try to look at another woman that voice that was once a whisper screams. It screams in my head constantly but, the words come gargled. It's like there's a thick pane of glass between us. I can see how this other me within is unhappy but, I don't understand why.
The only thing that soothes this voice is inside me is her. I spend every moment I can with her. I carry her around my castle as a child would its favorite toy.
Even now she hangs limply in my arms. She has no care for how I cradle to my chest desperate to ease the storm raging inside me.
We sit in my office where I try in vain to focus on the paperwork in front of me. My hands itch to play in her hair in favor of signing forms.
I look down at where she sits in my lap. She stares back at me, blank as ever. I remember that first time I saw her. I remember how our eyes locked and for the briefest moment, something stirred in my chest. I knew instantly she was my mate but, beyond that sudden stir, I felt none of the fabled pull. Now, I think I do. I think that must be what the voice is screaming to me. What does it mean?
"Speak to me, pet", I command her.
"Yes, master?", I'm disappointed again.
"What have you done to me", I ask feeling my temper rise, "how have you bewitched me?".
"Master?", she questions. She does not know what I mean. I do not know what I mean.
"Do you love me, pet?", I ask.
"Do you want me to love you, master?", she asks. She's mocking me. She can see my frustration and she's reveling in this small moment of power she has over me.
Take her from my arms and slam her on the desk in front of me. Pens and paper scatter at the sudden disturbance. My hands wrap around her throat wanting her to do something, anything. She just stares at me with her vacant eyes and plastered smile. The voice in my head screams and pounds at the glass separating us with all its might. A migraine starts to form behind my eyes as I cut off her oxygen. It doesn't feel like I am stealing hers near as much as I am mine.
I have to stop and my hands tangle in her hair as they always wanted to do. I stare into her as she catches her breath. She does not breathe because she wants to. She breathes only because I'm allowing it. There is nothing in her. There is no feeling and certainly not love or malice.
"Tell me you love me", I bid her lie.
"I love you, master", no that's not right.
"Say it again", I am desperate and I don't know what for.
"I love you, master", she says. She has done everything I've ever asked and I am miserable. I step away from her. The distance steals away the sparks her touch brings me. I turn to the bookshelves behind me desperate to destroy anything if I can't degrade her.
Books fly and wood breaks under my hands but, it does nothing to calm the voice. If anything it only screams louder. It pounds on the glass harder.
I stand over the destruction and turn back to look at her. She is unfazed by my fit. She sits with her smile as she usually does. The glass cracks under the blows. It splinters into a web but, does not shatter. The voice comes in clearer if only a bit.
I return to her stand between her parted legs. I stare down at her feeling as though seeing her for the first time. She is not there staring back at me. Her eyes do not hold that mischievous spark they did when I first saw them. They do not speak of potential or hope. This girl is not my mate, she is a mindless drone. A slave to my whims. This is what I wanted, wasn't it? This is why she exists.
"Don't call me master and say you love me", I say. But, it's not the voice I expect. It's a voice that hasn't spoken through me in years. It is the voice of a broken man. It trails along through the cracked glass to fall from my lips.
She stares at me, whatever is left of her mind processing my command. I almost think she won't say it. Disappointment that I do not understand claws at my chest. It's the man within me trying to crawl out through my heart.
"I love you", she says. She says it just as I asked but, it did not sound how I wanted it to. Her voice carries nothing but, forced pleasantness. Her eyes do not speak of anything genuine. She has no capacity for the feeling I desperately want her to have. I stole her mind and body, I have nothing of her heart or spirit if they still exist. I can never take what can only be given.
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