Ourselves and Our Posterity

Chapter 7

Grimm Pov

  It's been months since our 'demonstration' and I'm still not happy. I thought I would be but, those words still ring out in my head. No matter how I make her scream and beg it can drown out what Raúl said to me. What did he mean for me to stand under the weight of my sins? Shouldn't he want for me to crumble? What should've been my moment in the sun was ruined by him.

  I've gotten all I could ever think you want from her. She is subservient to me entirely both in mind and body. Still, I want more. What else could I take from her?

  I sigh and run a hand through my hair. It's been a particularly trying day. My soldiers are useless. They want to end the war. The only person who agrees with my continued persistence is Breuer.

  I almost regret sending him to the front lines. He backed this war wholeheartedly. His support helped convince my people of its righteousness.

  Everyone always pitied him for his terrible fate. They would follow him into hell to avenge his fallen loves. The people rallied behind him as strongly as they cowered behind me.

  It's a terrible thing that the dead man's blood made him do. Alpha Panganiban had an omega dose his food. Before anyone could stop him, he'd killed his mate and child. When its effects wore off the omegas found him weeping in a pool of blood. I personally had to wrestle the bodies of his wife and daughter from his arms.

  I never understood how he could be so weak to succumb to madness like that. He'd only had a few drops of a rogue's blood. I'd taken nearly all of my Alpha father's.

  Taking the blood wasn't ideal but, my father had died far off on a diplomacy mission. By the time he was brought back his body was already starting to go stiff.

  Normally, in our crowning ceremonies, the retiring Alpha would cut his hand and offer it to his heir in a transfer of power. The blood was that of a long line of alphas who'd all done so since the foundation of our pack. The echoes of their wisdom flowed in my veins. My pack would never have accepted me had I not taken the blood in some way. They'd have fallen to ruin without my rule. So, I took as much of the blood as I could to assure them of my leadership. I am stronger and wiser for it.

  I sign my frustration and decide to go up for a visit with my mate. I like her best of any of the concubines I'd ever taken. She was truly meant for me.

  When I open the door she's there, on her knees, to greet me. I should be happy but, I'm not. How dare that alpha steal this happiness from me? I have to half kill her now if I want to get even close to my old high.

  I throw her to the bed and start to undress. She just lays there looking back at me. I can tell from how she looks at me that there is nothing in her anymore. She is only breathing because I force her to. She has no personhood. She is mine and, that is all she is.

  When I am done with her I can hear how her pulse is starting to weekend and her breaths have gotten shallow. If she wasn't a destined luna she'd be dead. She was meant for this. Still, I am not satisfied.

  "Pet?", I call.

  "Yes, master".

  "Who are you?", I ask. I don't know why but, for the first time I'm curious about what she was before she was mine. Maybe, I wanted to know what exactly it was I had conquered.

  "I am no one, master", I sigh at her answer.

  "What is your name?", I ask.

  "Pet, master", she looks up at me. I'd think she was confused but, I doubt she feels anything anymore.

  "What was your name before you came to me?", I ask.

  "I don't know, master", she says, "you told me to forget". She's right. I did tell her that. I've had her here for year's so I'm not surprised she forgotten. Why am I unsatisfied with her answer?

  I stare up at the ceiling. I've been staying in here more. I used to go back to my room when I finished with her as I did all my concubines. Now, something in me screams to stay with her longer. It's the same part of me that is unsatisfied. It's the same part that wants to know who she was. It whispers to me its obsession with her.

  "Pet, tell me you love me", it speaks through me. She is silent. I look down to see she is now unconscious. It was stupid anyway. Her love is meaningless as all her thoughts are.

  Still, I am unsatisfied. I do as the voice commands and pull her into my chest. Lately, it's started to feel nice when I touch her. People always spoke of how the bond felt like fireworks. When I first found her I felt nothing of the sort and had assumed those tales were spoken in hyperbole. Lately, I've started to feel a faint thrumming against her skin. It feels nice.

  I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair. Falling asleep like this almost makes up for my waning high.