The Hockey Star and the Ice Princess (Complete)

Ch. 41 - Saying Goodbye

Rachel and Spencer stayed at the hospital for a little while visiting with Gladys and the family until her daughters started helping her with funeral arrangements, so they decided to leave to give them privacy. As they walked under the fluorescent lighting towards the parking lot Rachel felt like a zombie, in a trance. 

"Hey," Spencer said, looking over at her. "You can't go outside like that Rach. It's freezing out there. You need to zip up your coat and put on some gloves." 

She couldn't even respond because it was like her brain was in a fog. It felt like her head was in a fish bowl where she could see and hear what was going on around her but it was like she was just watching it and not a part of it. She barely had the energy to reach into her pocket to put her gloves on and to zip up her coat. Her stomach hurt and she felt nauseous from all the stress and grief she was feeling. 

When they got outside, she got into Spencer's car and slowly put on her seatbelt before leaning her head against the frame of the cold, frosty window and just staring outside in a daze. She couldn't believe he was gone. Coach Sumners was actually gone. She'd never hear his voice again or hear his laugh. She'd never see his smiling face waiting at the rink for practice or hear him say "Good job kid," when she got off the ice after a great performance. 

He was gone. 

That realization suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks and she felt a pain in her chest and she could hardly breathe. It felt like her airway was closing and her heart was pounding. She was having another severe panic attack like she did at the Olympics. She leaned forward and put her head between her knees and tried to take deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. 

"Hey, you okay?" Spencer asked, reaching over and rubbing her back. 

"No," she said, shaking her head as her eyes filled up with tears. She lifted her head and looked over at him. "How could I be okay Spence? He's gone," she choked out with her bottom lip quivering, before a tear started rolling down her cheek and dropped onto her jeans. "He's really gone," she cried, reaching over and hugging him, sobbing against his shoulder for a minute and soaking his shirt with her tears.

Spencer drove her back home to Coach's house and she laid down in her bed and curled up in a ball, still in a daze. 

"I'm gonna stay with you. I'll just be right outside in the living room if you need anything," Spencer told her, patting her shoulder before walking out. 

A long time after, she wasn't sure how long, she heard two men talking in the living room and then her bedroom door opened and Cain was standing there in her doorway.

He closed the door and walked over, sitting down next to her on the bed and rubbing her arm.  "Hey superstar," he said quietly, with a sympathetic look on his face.

She rolled onto her back and looked up at him and she could see sadness in his eyes. He had gotten pretty close to coach too. He didn't say another word. He just kicked his shoes off and crawled into bed, sliding an arm under her back and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. 

She nuzzled into his neck and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in and letting it out, feeling comforted by his warm, strong arms wrapped around her and his heartbeat against her ear. He held her like that without a word until they both eventually fell asleep. She woke up a couple hours later still wrapped up in Cain's arms and for a second her brain had forgotten about Coach passing away and it felt like everything was normal. 

As she blinked and focused, the memories of what happened came flooding back and she felt an ache in her chest. She was so sad, she could hardly stand it. As she started to untangle herself from Cain's arms, he woke up and stretched with a groan.