Chapter 21

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It's been five days since the incident.

At first, I didn't want to tell anyone how I felt. The only one who knew was Nate, who wouldn't leave my side on my bed or couch for days.

It was rough for the first two days. I felt dirty. I felt like I was degraded and ashamed that something like that would happen to me.

I felt so alone and that no one would understand what I went through.

I decided to call my dad at the end of the second day. He's the person, other than my mom, who I trust most in the world. I know that his love for me would, without a doubt, never change. He has always been my biggest supporter and someone that I can go to when I need it.

He was upset to know that someone would purposely do that to me and that it happened to me. He was all over the place, but I know he had the best intentions.

My mom got on the phone with him, and we all decided that I would report it even though I did not get assaulted.

If I could have prevented it, I would have done it in a second.

But, my body froze, and I had no control over my mind. I don't want other women, or men, to have to ever go through that. I know that often many people are repeat offenders. I don't want the same thing to happen to this man. I want him to never do this again. And as such, we decided that was the best idea.

Nate is my witness, but we also have the name of the man and some information.

Arthur Raves.

There are bruises along my wrists that will eventually heal and finger marks along my arms.

I have decided to forgive him, and although Nate said I was completely crazy, I don't want Arthur to have this burden on my heart. It doesn't mean that it didn't happen, and I'm not saying that I won't be reminded of it every day for the rest of my life, but I don't want Arthur to have that empowerment over me. If he's trying to degrade me, I'm not going to let it happen. If he's trying to get me to lose myself, I'll be back next time to shield myself as best as I can.

But, I'm ready for this new stage of life.

I won't let it take over my life because I'm strong enough to handle it.

If I can survive a heart attack at eighteen, I can get through this too.

I've been doing much better. I'm not sure if that is because I have the support of friends or that I wasn't raped, but I haven't had any nightmares and not too many flashbacks.

I still get disappointed in myself that I didn't do anything.

I feel shameful that I let it happen.

But, as Nate has caught on and helped me through it, he's told me that it was never my fault, and it never will be my fault.

Nate has been my savior this past week. We've done things I don't think he's ever done.

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