All She Can Take

F I F T Y - O N E

Sid's nerves rise from a low hum to a fast buzz. Chante met her eyes again and waited for Sid's go-ahead to open the door. Sid wasn't sure if she wanted her to but looking at Nixon in front of her, then at Chante, she knew that people were putting a lot on the line to stand with her. To stand behind her in whatever death wish she wanted to play out. She was confronting things. Putting a stop to narratives that continued to play out year after year. From one generation to the next.

She nodded at Chante who quickly crossed over to the door and opened it. The person on the other side wrapped their arms low around Chante's waist, lightly grazing her behind before releasing her. But all pleasantries vanished as their foot crossed the threshold and took in who was there.

"Ahhhhh, hell Nah." Frenchie threw her hands up in the air before raking them down over her face, like a participant on a show who just found out they'd been pranked. She turned and gave Chante a look that said Really? And the next second her hand was reaching for the doorknob.

"Frenchie, please." Sid pleaded.

"Look baby girl, I don't know how you got tied up in this shit and my condolences for your Pops and all but no...hell no." Frenchie turned the knob and yanked the door open but didn't leave because Sid ran over and threw her body against the door forcing it shut again. "Yo, you wildin!" Frenchie released a nervous chuckle and began to pace the room. Keys and loose change jingled together in the pocket of her deep purple sweatpants which sagged low off her ass. Her matching sweatshirt was fitted to her with a small smiling Mickey Mouse over the breast pocket. Frenchie's face glared angrily above that smiling Mickey. She continued to pace while fishing a cigarette out of her pocket.

"You can't smoke in here, French."

"Let me the fuck out then! She blocking the door like Terminator and shit... y'all trippin!" Frenchie was fully worked up and antsy. She was all over the place.

"Yo, just sit and listen for a second French." Nixon piped up. Frenchie didn't respond to him but she also didn't make another break for the door. Sid took her opportunity.

"I know you don't know me that well, but I'm not usually like this. I spend most of my time hiding...everywhere. Anywhere. I'm anxious and scared about most things. But since...since I met Phil....Since I let Chante drag me out of the house. It reminded me that these streets used to be home. Safe. Until they weren't because of Kru. But that fear that I've felt for years is gone. Now, I'm someone that I don't even know. But I do know she's not scared and she's not hiding anymore." Sid moved away from the door toward Frenchie.

"We all grew up around here and for one reason or another are still here. I don't know what your reason is but I know that mine is Kru. I think we all deserve to experience a life that hasn't been tainted by Kru. One where he hasn't taken something from each and every one of us and so many more people out there." Sid pointed behind her to the door where their neighborhood stretched for miles on the other side. Her eyes tracked back to Frenchie.

"What has he taken from you?" She asked her. Frenchie took a long deep drag on her cigarette and scratched at the thin line of scalp between her neat cornrows.

"He ain't take nothing. He held me out of a bind when I was younger. Probably would be dead if it wasn't for him." Frenchie turned and looked Sid dead in her eyes as she. Sid felt all the adrenaline she'd been pumped up on a moment ago sink into the bottom of her stomach and dissipate. In all her planning she didn't expect Frenchie to be so loyal to Kru. She thought she saw a flicker of something in Frenchie. Something that hinted at a heart, a desire to be out of the circumstances that being born in the hood pushed her into. Sid kicked herself for overplaying her hand. Telling Frenchie everything upfront. She should have gone in slower, felt her out before putting everything out on the table.