All She Can Take

T W O

Sidney cringed as a fat rat skidded across the platform. Actually, skid is the wrong word. It sauntered. Slowly, taking it's time to survey the leftover food containers near the garbage can before moving on. It was in no rush and felt just as at home in the subway station as every human that paid their two bucks to get in. Brooklyn or not, she never got used to the rats of the underground. The city needed to evict them quickly before they rose up and took power.

"When are we going to get a car?" Sid asked her Dad. He adjusted the fedora on his head and she watched a bead of sweat escape down his forehead. It was beyond her why he didn't just take the damn thing off but for as long as she could remember he'd worn that hat. Or some version of it. He owned all different colors but this one was his everyday one. The one he wore when he was going about his regular business. School drop-offs, work, and back.

"What we need a car for?" He side-eyed her like she'd lost her damn mind.

"Air condition, a guaranteed seat, and no waiting."

"There's traffic no matter where you go. We're in the city, girl. But we don't need a car here. This is the best subway system in the world."

Just as the words left his mouth she saw another rat scuttle by on the tracks below. Or maybe it was the same rat.

"But you have a new job and we're moving out to the sticks!"

"It's not the sticks. It's just Yonkers. They have trains up there too."

Roland Berry was cheap but would get livid if you told him that. He'd sat her down many times and gave her lessons on the importance of money. Specifically, earning it. He never really got into what to do after you got it. He urged her not to take any handouts and make her own way. She had so far. Sid's grades were great and in three short months, she would be in a college with one of the top culinary arts programs in the country. She was following nicely in his footsteps and secretly hoped he approved.

"Cookies?" Sid held her hand toward him. The game they played whenever they rode the train together had started.

"Alright, um," her dad's eyes, deep-set with low eyelids that and made it appear that he was always chill or high, scanned the platform, "Him."

"Nah. He's from here." Sid creased her eyebrows and studied the young-ish black guy her dad pointed at.

"Nope."

"He's super comfortable. Look he's all in his phone and stuff. Leaned against the wall."

"Nope."

"Why?" She drilled him. He lifted his hat slightly and swiped at the sweat that formed beneath the brim. It wasn't quite summer yet. They were only a few weeks out from Memorial Day but the humidity had rolled in and settled over the city.

"I can just tell when someone doesn't belong here."He replied coolly.

"Okay. We'll see." Sidney pulled her backpack up on her shoulders. She paused for a second and eyed her dad. He smiled and nodded for her to go for it. Sidney smiled back and then trotted off toward the guy. His face was still buried in his phone. She reached him quickly.

"Hi, sorry, excuse me. Do you know if this train goes to Jay Street?"

The guy looked up. He had a sweet look about him like he was bred to be a good guy. Sid knew already that her father was right but she still held out hope.

"Oh, I'm not sure. I'm new here but there's this cool app for the train that shows the routes and stuff. Just let me pull it up." His Midwest accent dripped into her ears. Sid lost. No sweet Oreo's to celebrate a win today. She looked back down the platform at her Dad and gave him a sad face. He pumped his fist in triumph. 

The guy in front of her was still tapping around on his phone trying to find the app to give Sid information she already knew. The Jay Street station was only two stops away. She learned this sometime around age seven. Had memorized most of the train lines or at least the major points of connections for all of the trains throughout the city. Most native New Yorkers had. But these people. These transplants. These gentrifiers were weaseling their way through, circumventing the learning experience short by relying on apps.

"Oh, here it is. Let me just put in our train line." He said. Sid smiled and tapped her foot impatiently. She glanced back at her father again. He was talking with two guys. Sid would have surely definitely won this round because those people were for sure from around their neighborhood. She could tell by their clothes and their confidence and the way they carried themselves. One guy, tall and lankly hung just slightly behind the man who was closest to her father. An angry long-healed scar stretched from his ear, down his cheek and ended at his jaw. He leaned in close and spoke something into her father's ear.

"Oh, okay. So, it looks like Jay Street is...two stops away. You're super close." Sid turned back to the man who looked pleased with himself for helping. Like he'd just beat a level in some "I'm a Real New-Yorker" video game. She heard the rumble of the train in the distance.

"Perfect, thanks so much." She nodded and begin to head back toward her dad. The wind from the approaching train pushed into the station causing her skirt to whip up around her thighs. She stopped to clamp it back down.

There are moments in life when time seems to fold in on itself. When your brain knows that events happen sequentially, one after the other, but when those events are so huge...so powerful...so devastating they seem to collapse onto you all that the same time. She was certain she saw the hand on her father's shoulder that sent him off balance. 

But the thud. 

The scream. 

The fedora floating in the air before it careened to the ground — lost after it was separated from its owner. 

Those things had to happen one after another. That's how time worked. But her heart experienced them all at the same moment. Her father was dying at the same moment that she darted toward the train. 

At the same time, arms wrapped around her from behind stopping her from running to the tracks. The Midwest guy holding her, his good-guy face looking so wrong right now. Now she could see it. How out of place he was. How much she wished he wasn't here. Wasn't there to keep her from reaching that train. The one with her father's blood covering the front of it. Wasn't there to stop her from being shattered. Stop her from peering down onto tracks that her fathers crumpled and split body was spread over.

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