Break In My Heart

34. Secret Messages

^i added the song "pretty boy" by the Neighbourhood because I think it goes well with this chapter so LMK what y'all think^

I woke up with my body consumed in a weird uncomfortable feeling.

I felt heavy as if every blood vessel, vein, and atom of my body had weighed ten tons. And God, my hips and back...I'd learned why the term "getting your back blown out" meant.

I curled my fingers, expecting to feel Tyler beneath me, but all I clenched was the familiar linen of my bed. I forced my heavy lids open to see that Tyler definitely wasn't lying in bed with me. I looked around and realized that he was nowhere in my room to be found, nor was he in the blackened bathroom.

My heart raced as the look he had on his face the night before filled my mind. The pain and trauma. The burning desire to do something. If the night before had told me anything, Tyler was someone who acted out of emotion, his bruised knuckles were proof of that, and when I leaned over the edge of the bed to see that his clothes were still thrown on the floor, my worry only increased.

He wouldn't sneak out in the night and try to do anything, would he?

I...I honestly had no answer for it.

"Tyler?" I called out as I tried to push myself up into a sitting position, but an intense soreness that hours of conditioning nor broken bones could compare to tore through my lower back and deep inside of my core.

Anxiety started gnawing at my nerves and consuming me whole. "Tyler, baby, please say something, please," I begged as I tried to get up again. A cry of discomfort crawled up my tongue but was stopped by my pursed shut lips. "Tyler?"

"Addi, Addi, no, no, don't move, lay down. I'm here." I heard Tyler's voice rush out from behind me where I couldn't quite see. I was just relieved that he didn't leave, that he wasn't hurt.

I heard the sound of him setting something down on my nightstand before he laid down next to me. "I'm here, okay? I'm here." He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. Sometime in the early hours of the morning, he'd slid his briefs back on, but he thankfully left the rest of his body on display.

"I was worried you left," I admitted as I put my hand on top of his and rubbed my thumb against his rough healing knuckles. I needed to confirm that he was actually there.

"I'd never leave you, Addi. Never." He took my hand that was holding his and pressed a light kiss onto it. "Are you okay? I know the first time can be...uncomfortable."

I nodded. "Yeah I'm fine, or I will be by the end of the day. I have to be, we have practice tomorrow for all-state and if you didn't kill me, then Coach surely will."

Tyler chuckled before he pushed himself up and reached for something out of my field of view before he presented me with a plate with a messy omelet on it. "I know we had an egg-based breakfast yesterday, but I couldn't find anything else to make. Do you people not eat cereal or something?"

"We usually do, but we ran out and Papa refused to go to the store." I chuckled as I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position. A wince escaped my lips as I did so. Sitting wasn't very good for me for obvious reasons, but I also wasn't skilled enough to eat lying down without choking in the process.

"Here, hold on," Tyler said as he handed me the plate before he gently lifted me up and placed me in his lap like a child, situating me so that there wasn't as much pressure on my sensitive bottom. He didn't seem to care a single bit that I was still 100% naked, and, oddly enough, neither did I. "Is that better?"

I nodded.

"Sorry," he softly apologized as he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to go so hard. I got carried away."