153rd Poem: Delete

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June 21, 2020 @ 10:57pm.

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Realization sinks like an anchor thrown from a boat,

fear creeps up your spine like the frail and bony fingers of a monster waiting to strike,

the sympathetic system of the autonomic nervous system is kicking in, 

the heart is thudding faster, eyes widening from sudden dilation, lashes fluttering fast,

the brain scatters in a panic, thoughts turned so sporadic, 

instant stress, everything's a mess, no simple caress could shake this trainwreck express.


Oh no,

no no no!

No please don't be gone, please please please!


What do I do?!

What do I do to rid my heart of this sinking feeling?

What do I do to stop my throat from closing, my head from panicking?

What do I do to recover the files? 


The memories contained within them, so precious, 

so full of life from happier times, 

so full of my friends and beautiful scenery,

so full of good eats and many things with a lot of meaning to me..


The Recycling Bin! Can that find them?


You click, anxious as each second ticks by,

but it's to no avail- the files are gone,

you realize that the bin couldn't house those lost files;

you had clicked 'permanently delete files' by accident,

straight from your removable USB drive, 

no way your computer can find those files!


Google search, search, come on, type faster!

Download, hurry, download, download!

Recover, come on, please recover my files!

Three hours?! Seriously?! 

Calm down, calm down, you have to calm down.

Let the program run, let it do it's job.

Relax, relax, you must relax.


Files found; some ignored- some unrecoverable.


F*ck.


--

a/n

This was written so many minutes of anguish, sadness and frustration later after I deleted a file titled 'Memories' from my phone's SD card that I was viewing on my laptop. I was in the process of copying it onto my USB when I accidentally deleted it w/ only 85% or so copied. 

I can't just retrieve it from my laptop's recycling bin because the files were from a removable disk, not the laptop itself. I downloaded a file recovery system that is finding the files as we speak and has proven to find some of them, though some are apparently unretrievable even though I can see a preview😭😭😭😭 

I'm so upset because it had memories from me hanging w/ my high school friend group, a trip to Chicago, and even tho this trip unfortunately sucked a whole freaking a lot, a trip to Greece.

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