Lost in the Shadows

42

Wes didn't talk to me for the rest of the night, but I bought a plane ticket to California anyways for tomorrow night. The sooner I can leave, the sooner I can come back and be with him, I thought. It seemed like an easy task: go to California, sit in the beach, think about what is happening, and then realize who I am and who I want to be. But I knew things never turned out the way you want them to.

I just needed to get out of this bubble full of darkness, and I knew that not everything in this world was dark, but that's all I've seen lately. But then I remember Wes and how much light and joy he brings to his people, and how much he tries to do the right the thing. He's the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I knew that all of this would be worth it once I return back to him, I just had to get through this.

I started packing already, just so I wouldn't have to rush to do it tomorrow.

I heard a knock on the door as Wes came in, I could see the pain in his eyes. He let out a sigh before sitting on the floor next to me. He sat with one leg bent and the other laid straight out, but he looked bothered. "I'm sorry I freaked a while ago," he whispered, "It's just hard to think about you leaving, I feel like we just got started."

"I know," I weakly agreed as I zipped up my suitcase.

"I understand you need to do this, and I honestly think it'll be good for you to leave all of this for a little while. But where does that leave us," he asked turning his beautiful face towards me.

I sighed as I had to finally answer the question that I've been dreading, "Wes, I don't know," I admitted crawling over to him so that I could wrap my body around his. His warm body pressed against mine making me never want to leave his side. "I don't know how long I'm going to be gone."

"So is this it then," he whispered leaning his head against mine as we leaned against the bed. I didn't want this to be it, I felt as if it was the end, then me leaving would be all for nothing. I wanted my head straight, and I wanted to be a person that wouldn't have to lean on Wes every time  something went wrong. I needed to be my own anchor.

"Not forever," I sighed grabbing his hand, "We can just call it a little break," I told him. I wish that we could be together when I left and make him wait for me to return back, but I knew that would be selfish. Who am I to tell him to stay here and wait for me, while I'm out traveling the world. I wanted him to be happy.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow," i replied.

He huffed while pulling the ends of his brown curls, he stood up and reached for my hand. "Let's make tonight count then," he smiled leading me out of the room and out the back door.

"Remember when I beat you up back here," I chuckled as I pointed to the bed of grass behind Wes.

"You won, because I let," he rolled his eyes.

"You made me fight Luke that day," I crossed my arms pretending to judge his motives.

"No, I made you beat Luke's ass, I knew you could," he laughed pulling my in for a sweet hug as he swayed our bodies back and forth.

We booth stared at the stars as we held each other tightly without any gaps between us. The full moon shined on us making me feel like we were meant to be here, we are meant to be together. I had no doubt in my mind that Wes would would always be the person for me. The stars reminded me of our relationship, we are bright and even when you can't see it, the love is still there. I once heard someone say that if you tried to count the stars it would take infinity, and if I tried to count all the reasons why I love this boy, it would take me more than a life time.