Say When

T H I R T Y - S I X

"How's everything?" The waitress asked.

Past her smile, I could see a hint of worry on her face. She'd seated Jax and me at a table for two. Yet, it'd been just me here. For a while. I suspected that she was worried that the next time she circled the table I would be gone as well. A classic dine and ditch. I hoped it wasn't because we were the only young brown people in the dining room.

"Everything's amazing. Can I see a dessert menu?" I asked sporting my best smile. She returned the smile and nodded before heading off.

I flexed my toes under the table, grateful for the heavy cream cloth that draped down the sides and hovered only an inch above the floor. My shoes were off and hidden under there as I tried to gain some relief. I took small bites of my braised lamb and gazed out of the window.

The East River was alive in front of me. A churning reflective mass beneath the dizzying towers of the city. After living here all my life, I still experienced firsts. Like sitting here in this gorgeous restaurant that had as much history as Brooklyn itself. I gazed out of the expansive windows of The River Cafe in Dumbo, in a building that was slightly older than my parents. The Brooklyn Bridge stretched above me toward Manhattan. Lights twinkled off of the yachts in the water. The hour wait for the table appeared worth it.

"Why is the wait so long?" I whispered to Jax when we were by the bar waiting for our names to be called. I shifted from my left foot to my right. My feet were just starting to sting in my strappy black heels. My pinky toe had gone numb at the prom and now the whole foot was threatening to bail. Rita packed ballet flats for us to switch in to but I'd left those behind in her clutch when I fled.

"It's a nice spot. My Pops used to bring my Mom here for dates whenever we visited. When things were good. She loves this place." Jax adjusted the collar of his black T-shirt. The two of us--him in gray joggers and one of his tailored black t-shirts with fresh black Nikes; me in a prom dress. We didn't match one another or this sleek elegance of this place but we were there and I was content to wait as long as I needed with him.

I grabbed my purse off the back of the chair. I wanted to get my phone and call Jax to see what was going on. He excused himself to use the restroom but that was over fifteen minutes ago.

Just as I was pressing the phone receiver icon on my screen he entered the dining area, strolling toward the table with a CVS bag in hand. I gave him a quizzical look. He stopped next to me and knelt down. In one swift movement, he lifted my legs from under the table exposing my bare feet. Before I could protest he pulled a pair of cushioned flip flops out of the bag and slid them on my feet. My shoulders slumped in relief.

"Oh my God, thank you. I can't put those heels back on."

As he sat down the waitress returned with the dessert menu along with a relieved look to see Jax back in his seat. I imagined her telling everyone in the back that all was well and they no longer had to watch the doors.

"I noticed." He said, stifling a laugh. My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.

"I'm not a heels girl I guess."

"Everything suits you." He told me.

To hear him speak to me like that again. I'd forgotten how it turned me into putty. I shoved some lamb in my mouth. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying Yuri's trust by being here with Jax. But then again, did Yuri even have any trust left for me to betray? He knew the full extent of my dishonesty and he'd left me. Whether it was short term or long term, I had no way of knowing because he wouldn't speak to me. He was finding solace with Casey. If there's one message I got loud and clear tonight it was that he and I were over. He'd moved on. Matching-prom-looks moved on. My fork slipped from my hand and clattered on the plate loudly. I apologized to Jax.