Sweet Julie Darling

Doctor, Doctor

Hospitals have never been a problem for me. I was that odd one out who could never seem to break a single bone in her body and I never got any stitches either. If I was in a hospital it was because I was visiting a friend; so it's weird that I'm finally coming here for myself.

"Here we are." Mom pushes open the door.
"Good morning! I'm Doctor Reins. How are you feeling? Any pain?" It's like Reins is a paparazzi trying to interview me! He guides me to the bed and does this poke and prod examination combined with a couple of strange 'hmmms' and 'ahhhs'. Then he lets me lie down and puts that ice cold gel on my belly and does the ultrasound.
"Is she ok?" My voice wavering a bit on the last word.
"She appears to be quite healthy. Nothing out of the ordinary; so we can take that as a good sign." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Are you 100% positive?" My mom chimes in.
"Yes Mrs Groblaar. 200% in fact." He gives me a goofy smile. If it was meant to comfort me or make me stress;I'm not sure but I smile back anyway.
"She will be just fine." He says grabbing papers and scribbling notes.
"Fabulous and Doctor..." I drown out the rest of their conversation and rest my hand on my stomach. I had never been so terrified of losing something or in this case someone in my life before. "Hey Little One. You gave your mom such a scare. I Love you lots; so you just have to hang in there for another 5 months ok?" I whisper to my baby. I know it's pretty silly to ask questions and make conversations with a fetus that won't reply but it still makes me feel like I'm bonding with her.
"Julie? Julie it's time to see Dr Kruger." Mom pulls me off the bed.
"Sorry. Let's go."

Kruger's office is on the top floor of the hospital with the rest of the therapists while Reins' sector was on one of the lower floors.
"Have a seat Julie." She says as I enter alone.
"Will they ever end?" It's a question I ask every session and each time her answer is...
"That's up to you." Like I'm supposed to know how to solve this issue on my own.
"What do you remember from the flashes?" The same Q and A as usual.
"I was with this family or more accurately my parents. Then the regular horror movie scene Flashed."
"And what were your emotions?"
"At first happy. Kinda like little-kid-happy you know? Then well I can't really describe it felt as if my heart was being ripped out. As if something I really cared about was being taken away from me."
"What do you think triggered the flash?"
"Mom was making waffles; so the smell of them I guess."
We sit in silence for a long time. Dr Kruger sighs.
"There's only one explanation for this Julie; this... these flashes are due to childhood trauma."
"But how? Dr Kruger I've never had any problems with my childhood."
"So is your mantra for every session but I have no other explanation for you."
"So I'm going crazy?!" I have to laugh.
"I didn't say that. Julie there is a gap; I think- in my honest opinion- that you need to talk to your mother. I believe she might be withholding crucial information regarding your past."
I feel frozen. My mom would never do that to me. She cares about me. From the beginning- of what I can remember- she was always been one of those doting overprotective mothers.
"Uh thanks for today." I say as I stand. My legs are shaking.

"And?" Mom says putting an arm around me.
"Mom?"
"Yes Julie? Is there something wrong?"
"Oh um no... just you wouldn't keep secrets from me unless it for my own good?" Mom gives me a sideways glance.
"Where on earth did that come from?" She just dodged the question. Maybe just maybe Dr Kruger is right.
"Oh nowhere it was just a thought. Kruger got me all emotional that's all."
"Hmm... Why don't we grab some ice cream? Aroma is just around the corner."
I force a smile. She's definitely hiding something!
"Yeah that sounds good."