Ch. 4 Mom

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DISCLAIMER: This chapter touches on self-harm. If you are sensitive to things like that, READ WITH CAUTION.

Also this song helped me write this chapter, give it a listen
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I wake up to find myself in the same spot on the floor. There's blood everywhere, and it's dark outside. I slowly stand up with my hand pressed against my cut cheek. I look around and there appears to be no sign of my 'father'. I let out a sigh of relief.

I stumble my way up the stairs, and into the bathroom. I dig through the cabinets and find the first aid kit. I take out the rubbing alcohol and a cotton round and clean my cut. It really needs stitches but I don't have access to any, so I put some antibiotic cream on it and put some gauze over top.

I decide to take a shower and just be careful about my gauze. I just pray that he won't come back home while I'm in the shower. I turn on the water and get in. The hot water soothes my sore muscles. I wash my hair and I make sure not to get my gauze wet. I wash the now dried blood off my hands. I get out and dry my hair.

I go to the door and listen for anything hinting that he's back. I listen for a while before I run out of the bathroom and into my room. I lock my door and sit down on my bed and cry. I don't want to live like this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I think I'm spiraling, and the last time I spiraled, I almost died.

I get dressed in pajama shorts and a t-shirt. I check the time and it's 2 a.m. I haven't done any homework. I decide to just go to bed after I take some Advil. I lay down in bed and plug in my phone. Immediately when my head hits my pillow I fall into a deep sleep.

My alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning. I turn it off. I fall back asleep instantly. I guess I needed some sleep. I'm not going to school.

He brings the broken glass bottle down to my cheek and lightly drags it across my skin, not hard enough to break skin... yet. I let out a whimper and he digs the glass into my skin, cutting me, deep, and making blood and tears mix as they run down my face.

I wake up to my scream rippling through the house, I'm in a cold sweat, shaking. I get up and put my hair into a ponytail. It's 10 o'clock. I probably shouldn't go to school for a while so I can let the cut heal a bit.

I get in the shower to wash the sweat off of me from my nightmare, no not nightmare, memory. When I get out I clean my cut and put more antibiotic on it. I open the drawer looking for more gauze and see the old razor blades, the ones from when I spiraled.

I pick one up. I bring it towards my wrist. No, you can't do this Eden.

Why? No one cares about me.

What about Marie? What about Sage?

Sage? Sage doesn't care about me. We just met.

Are you sure about that?

I push my conscious out of my head and bring the razor down on my wrist. I make a cut on my wrist, then another, then another. I drop the razor back into the drawer and close it. I'm spiraling again and it's all his fault.

I go back into my room and get started on my homework. As I'm doing homework my phone starts ringing. I look at it confused because I never get calls from anyone. It's Marie. I ignore the call and continue doing my homework.

She calls again. I ignore again. She calls, again. I ignore, again. I'm getting ready to shut off my phone when a call from Sage comes in. I answer the phone and immediately Sage says "Where are you? Are you okay?" I smile at how worried for me he is.

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