The Z Contingency

Prologue (Original)

"What the hell is this?"

"What are you talking about, and why are you shouting at me?"

"This article that just came out, 'Zombie Apocalypse: CDC Denies Existence Of Zombies Despite Cannibal Incidents.' Sorry about the shouting. I'm just so frustrated. We have to prepare the public for that eventuality."

"And what eventuality is that, exactly?"

"Zombification."

"I'm sorry. Did you just say zombification?"

"Yeah, I know how it sounds. What I'm getting at is the public needs to prepare for zombies. Think about it for a minute. Consider how these hemorrhagic viruses have been mutating. What if something like background radiation caused one of these viruses to mutate in such a way that, instead of causing the death of the victim, it takes the victim to a near death state, where the brain and nervous system are reduced to activity levels just sufficient to sustain motor control, but still keeps the victim alive. Consider how any pathogen that kills its host reduces the chance it can spread and further propagate its genetic material. A virus that mutates in the way I suggest would have a greater chance of spreading those genes. People would be walking around like... well, like zombies. We have to warn the public."

"Yes. I'm familiar with viral evolution, and we did warn them. We got the CDC to launch the public awareness campaign on preparing for the zombie apocalypse. All the material is staying on the site. That won't be taken down."

"But that article says we're denying it all. What about that statement, 'CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead.'"

"They had to deny the existence of a zombie apocalypse, what with all these bizarre attacks, and people eating people. The public was getting panicky."

"But now they won't take this seriously. They'll stop preparing. They..."

"Nonsense. We couched the initiative as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to educate the public on preparing for disasters using the popularity of zombies. Remember, we stated the rationale, 'if you're equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you'll be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack'?"

"Yes, but..."

"Look, do we know of any virus that would reanimate the dead?"

"Well, no... but my model predicts that Marburg or Ebola will mutate toward that state, and that it will likely only take a few mutations to get there. The first mutation will keep the infected person alive so that he or she can continue to incubate the virus. Further mutations will allow them to ambulate and spread the virus."

"Okay, but that's your model. Does any virus exist today that would reanimate the dead."

"Not yet...."