I Want To, But I Can't (Bonus Chapter)

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I sat on the end of the bed, my eyes on Ty passed out in the rocking chair as I breastfed Stephen.

I could hear his light snoring as Stephanie curled herself up on his chest, trying to sleep but seeming to fail do to her father's snores.

"Mommy?" Tessie walked into the room, holding her teddy bear against her chest. I nodded, waiting for her to go on.

"I can't sleep. I don't wanna leave tomorrow." I frowned, looking down at Stephen in my arms as his small hands clenched the hem of my sleep shirt.

"Come here, Princess." I answered, nodding toward the bed beside me. She climbed on to the bed, glancing at Stephen latched on to me for a second before turning her attention back to me.

"I know you don't want to leave, but now we've got a bigger family and their aren't enough rooms for everyone." Tessie shook her head, setting her worn and discolored unicorn on the bed beside her, making gestures with her hands as she spoke.

"But there is, Mommy. Stephen and Stephie can sleep in one room, and then I sleep in mine with Spot, and you sleep with Daddy." I laughed quietly, careful not to disturb Stephen or wake up Ty.

"Sweetie, it's not that simple. Stephen's going to need the nursery to himself soon, when Stephie's old enough, she's going to get her own room just like you. So Mommy and Daddy went and found a house with five rooms. One for everyone." Tessie sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"But what if you sleep with Daddy in a grown ups way and have another baby. Do we have to move again?" She seemed irritated by the thought, I only smiled at her.

"That won't happen for a while, sweetheart. You know Daddy and I are busy." Tessie laid back on the bed and curled up in a ball, giggling.

"You never know." She threw her hands in the air, "I could have lots and lots of siblings, you know, Mommy." I shook my head, laughing as I stood up. I fixed my shirt and set Stephen in his bassinet, walking across the room to take Stephie from Ty's grip. She whimpered as I disturbed her, but fell asleep again a few seconds after I laid her down in the crib beside the rocking chair.

I yawned as I leaned down and shook Ty, brushing my hand against his cheek.

"Babe," I whispered, "You better come lay down or your neck will hurt." He groaned, his eyes fluttering slightly. He sat up suddenly, his hands touching his chest.

"Where's Stephanie?" He gasped.

"Asleep in her crib." I replied, pushing a lock of his ear length hair behind his ear.

"Dammit." He rubbed his face, "I fell asleep with her again, didn't I? Why didn't you wake me up? I could have let go or-"

"I was right here, baby." I laughed, "Nothing was going to happen. You were both exhausted, you needed sleep." He leaned forward and kissed me, standing up and stretching his arms behind his head a second later.

"Daddy!" Tessie said, giggling as he walked over to her. He scooped her up a second later, kissing her forehead.

"What are you doing up so late, Princess? You need your beauty sleep." He said. She reached out and touched his cheek, a grin breaking out across her face.

"I want to sleep with you and Mama, Daddy." He shook his head.

"Big girls don't sleep with Mommy and Daddy." He answered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Then I don't wanna be a big girl, Daddy." I felt my heart clench a little as I made my way over to them, kissing Tessie's forehead.

"You're always going to be our little girl, Tessie." I said, smiling, "No matter how old you get." She sighed, burying her face against Ty's shoulder with a smile.

Ty gave me a look of defeat and nodded toward the open door. I called for Spot and closed the door so it was only open a crack behind him. He immediately walked to the side of the room opposite the crib and curled up in his bed.

When I turned back around, I found Ty laying Tessie under the covers, kissing her forehead. I was already halfway toward the bathroom when Ty joined me.

"I don't even remember the last time we were alone together." He whispered, leaning against the counter, "Without the kids."

"Nine months ago, if I had to guess." I joked, peeling my shirt over my head and hunting the bathroom for another one.

"We need time out." He whispered, catching my arm and pulling me toward him so he was kissing me. I tangled my arms around him, shaking my head.

"You know what happens when we have time alone, Ty." I responded. He picked me up and set me on the counter, grabbing one of his old work shirts from beneath the sink and handing it to me so I could cover up my bare chest.

"I'm not complaining about it." He smirked.

"I'm sorry, baby." I tapped his cheek with a laugh, "But I have a seven year old, a year and a half old, and a newborn to take care of. I'm not in any sort of mood to have another child on the way." He chuckled, watching as I slid the shirt over my head and hugged it against me.

"In my defense, Stephen was conceived because the brand of condoms I bought were faulty, okay? And you weren't on the pill." I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't think I had to be. I had just started to heal up from Steph, just to have to go through it again in eight months." He was laughing as I leaned back against the mirror, "But I wouldn't trade my baby boy for the world." He nodded in agreement, leaning back against the door.

"I didn't know being a Dad was going to be so hard." He muttered, "I mean, with Tessie it was okay. Because she was my baby, my only baby. But having two more, two young kids, I can barely find time for her anymore." I looked down at the tile, smiling weakly.

"I'm sure she understands, Ty. She's brilliant. She knows how hard we've been working, how exhausted we've been. Have you seen her when one of the babies start crying? She walks over and holds them until they stop or we come in. She's trying her best to help us." She had been wonderful, especially the last few months. Even when I was pregnant, she had been helping with Stephanie.

"I know, I just. . . I feel like I don't talk to her enough. She's going to be eight in a couple months, love. My little girl is going to be eight, she's growing up before I can even catch up." I hopped off the counter and laid my hand against my husbands shoulder.

"She's still your little girl, Ty. She always will be." I opened the door, "And you don't have to worry about babies crawling all over you, we've got a couple that need your loving." He bowed his head with a small smile as we walked back out into the room. We crawled into bed on either side of Tessie, kissing the top of her head. As I reached to shut the light off, I looked over to see Ty looking over at our sleeping babies across the room, a genuine smile slowly spreading across his face. After a second he laid down beside Tessie and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead as she nuzzled herself against his chest. He reached over her and took my hand, squeezing it before bringing it to his lips.

"I love you." He said, "I love my family, my daughters and son, my wife. I love you all." 



***AN***

Just another cute chapter. 

Hope you enjoyed!


~ChaisngMadness24

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