Arg. I don’t know why I feel so frustrated. I have so much to look forward to yet I’m over here sulking. I have an amazing girlfriend and best friend. I know I have friends all over the world but my family. They make me so angry. Today they have doing nothing specific but in general they just make me angry. I’m always angry you see. And today is another one of those days. Right now Boni’s doing something so I can’t really talk to her. Come to think of it I don’t think I really introduced her properly. Oh well. We’ll get to that eventually.
The dragon blog that I made is going well. I have 107 followers right now and it’s only be a couple of weeks. Huzzah. I’d post more but I’m sticking with ten post a day because I’m trying not to spam post. I’m actually getting updates as I write to you right now lol. I’m hoping one of them will be Boni answering me but it’s just another reblog. Which is great but that’s not what I want.
I’m such an emotional fucked up guy. I don’t see how it’s even possible. I mean, I write so damn much it’s almost embarrassing. I let out my heart to the internet. And yet when someone looks at my work from home I’m like. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What? Why did you… HOW did you….
I haven’t touched my bass in a while. Mariachi’s going um interesting. I can’t even believe we’ll be preforming. We don’t’ have enough instruments but we’re working on it. I need to do a list of things for journalism I guess I should do them. Not today though. I’m hoping to end today with some TJ’s. Maybe. I mean, my sisters meeting should have been done by now.
*sigh* The urge to cut grows back onto my I won’t do it but I’m feeling the urge none the less. Things are so complicated. Why do I even bother. This is what I get for trying to think out this interview/ achievement. It’s like. I NEED to know but how long will it take me to figure it all out. I’ve written a lot about my life right here. When I die this will be my history and no one can change it. I mean, this is set in stone already.
I don’t know why I did it. I think it was because I wanted to learn who I was and learn about myself. I don’t know. Right now I’m just typing to type because hearing the keyboard click after I press each letter somehow makes me feel better.
Mom’s cooking something. She made me cook this morning. I’m hungry actually. I want to talk to Boni though. *sigh* arg. I’m gonna go eat something. In attempt to make myself feel better.
