Dear Diary, it's Marilyn

Chapter 12

Hello! I was going to update yesterday despite only getting 34 votes this morning but my dog died so yesterday was just a really bad day for me. I'm sorry you had to wait till today.

This chapter is a little shorter than usual I think, but that's because I think I want to make the 14th chapter really long. See, 14 is my lucky number so I always make my 14th chapter a little special. I think I might make the 13th chapter a little shorter too then...

So even though it's a little shorter, it's still a good chapter. It let's you get to know Marilyn a little better and understand her way of thinking.

Is it worth 36 votes? I think so, but ultimately it's up to you guys, the readers.

Chapter 12

After the rain comes the rainbow.

I got to keep my apartment for two more months, not to mention I couldn’t find those nude pictures anywhere. I just hoped no one would ever see them and they would remain a secret.

Every morning for those two months I would walk into downtown Hollywood and look for a job until 5 that evening. Eventually my determination and dedication paid off.

Columbia Pictures offered me a six-month contract, the answer to my prayers. They paid $200 a week, $75 more than Fox had. After that short period of being broke, I was much more cautious about spending money. I would take my weekly salary and put half of it away in savings and use the other half for bills, groceries, and clothes.

Buying clothes again was a dream come true! I would save up for weeks just to buy a soft coat or shiny piece of jewelry. Diamonds were always my weakness; if I passed a diamond lavalier necklace in a department store, I just had to have it! I ended up with quite the collection.

Columbia Pictures provided me with an acting coach. Her name was Natasha Lytess.

Natasha Lytess. What comes to mind when you hear that name? When I first heard it, I thought of a French ballerina or a classy lady who would have tea with important men and wrap them around her finger with her sweet smiles and charms.

Maybe it was just my high expectations talking, but Natasha Lytess was an extreme disappointment.

I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair in one of Columbia Pictures’ empty filming studios waiting to meet my new drama coach. Another girl was supposed to join me in my acting lesson today but she hadn’t shown up so I was all alone.

The door opened a tiny bit and I turned around just in time to see a miniature version of a normal human being enter. The lady walked up to me in silence and let me tell you, she was petite, and not just short; she was bone-thin and only stood about 4’11”. She came closer and I couldn’t help wondering if I could push her over with just a puff of air.

“I’m Miss Lytess. Are you Marilyn or Constance?” She pulled a piece of paper out of her oversized bag and checked it. Her voice was so small I had to lean in closer and strain my ears to hear.

“I’m Marilyn.”

Miss Lytess winced. Did she not like my name or something?

“Please, there is no need to shout.” She pouted quietly. I had to hold in a bark of laughter that was threatening to escape. She couldn’t be serious.

“Ok, sorry.” I whispered. “So are you going to help me with my acting skills now?”

Miss Lytess looked at the piece of paper once more. “Is Constance going to come?” I shook my head. “Then let’s get started.” She put the piece of paper in her bag and dragged a chair over so she could sit across from me.

“We’re going to focus on your emotions.” What was this, therapy? “Let’s start with sadness.” Now Miss Lytess pulled a clipboard out of her bag and prepared to write on it. “What makes you sad?”

I thought about her question. What makes me sad?

“Well, I don’t really like death…” I commented uncertainly.

“No no no! Think of something very personal. In your life, what has made you the saddest? Think of your regrets.”

My regrets…well, I didn’t think people should have regrets but I suppose I could think of some.

“I regret dropping out of high school to get married.” Although things didn’t turn out too badly in the end. I’m in Hollywood, aren’t I?

“Does that make you sad?” I shook my head. “So dig deeper! Maybe a loved one’s death, some tragic event?”

Well, at this point I didn’t really care if my biological mother lived or died…losing Jim as a friend sort of made me sad. Taking nude pictures made me feel violated…

“Men.” I had found my answer. “Men make me sad.”

A satisfied smile graced my lips as I watched Miss Lytess’s reaction. I could tell she thought she knew it all, but I had stumped her.

“And how or why do men make you sad?” She asked after struggling to find something to say.

“They’re so controlling. You have to do it their way or no way. There’s no in-between. If they want something from you, they’ll take it. They will hurt you and violate you but they don’t think about that. They only think about themselves.” Tears came to my eyes as I explained it. I thought of how Jim had taken me for granted and expected me to bend to his will, and I remembered my life in the orphanage with those boys who molested me. I couldn’t do anything about it, it’s a “man’s world”.

Yet men need women far more than women need men. Shouldn’t we call the shots then?

“Well that’s a…er, interesting opinion.” I had almost forgotten Miss Lytess was in the room. “Let’s move on to joy.”

The afternoon carried on that way, talking about emotions. Miss Lytess told me I had to think of the things that I mentioned when a scene called for a certain emotion. I suppose that made sense, but it really felt like a waste of time.

Of course, later that week when I received a call saying that Miss Lytess had put in a good word for me and that I had gotten the lead role in Ladies of the Chorus, I sent my new acting coach a fruit basket.

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According to Wattpad this story is not historical fiction. I explained to them that it was but I think they took it off the historical fiction list anyway... I'm not very happy with that and I hope that they understand my reasoning and change it back. Until then, I'm not sure what other category besides romance this falls under. I'd appreciate it if you could help me with that decision. As I said, I'm not very happy about this.