psych- Leighton Murray

XV

"Now I get to plan a party. Everything is right with the world." Leighton sighed, pulling Emerson back onto the path.

"Am I invited?" Emerson smirked.

"Of course, how could I not. My brother knows that we're friends." Leighton nodded matter of factly.

Emerson pushed out a breath, trying to contain the frustration she felt that Leighton couldn't even tell her brother they were together. It made her feel like Leighton was embarrassed of her.

She started to unwrap the cupcake before deciding against it and throwing it in a nearby trash bin. "Leighton, we're more than that. I'm trying to be patient and accepting of the fact that you aren't ready to be out to the world, but he's your brother. He loves you and he wouldn't stop because you told him you like girls."

Leighton's strides came to a swift pause. "I've explained this to you and I'm just-"

"Not ready." Emerson took a deep breath. "I know, and I get that. I just don't know how long I can wait for you to get ready. I really care about you, Leighton, and I wish that I could hold your hand at parties and kiss you in front of our friends. I wish I could take you out for coffee within twenty minutes of campus. Look, Leighton, no matter what happens I'll be here for you. Whatever coming out brings with it, we can face together."

Leighton bit into her cupcake with a grimace. She felt her heart pulsate at the thought of being so public. "Em, I don't want to talk about this right now. Let's just go back to the dorm, okay? I think I need to lay down."

"I didn't mean to upset you, it's just something I feel strongly about. I just hope that I can make you feel- I don't know." Emerson puffed out a breath. Leighton marched forward, not looking back at her.

Emerson was frustrated, to say the least. She felt like she was hiding again and she hated it. It made her anxious and it made her feel like she wasn't enough. It was like she was in high school, scared to be who she was.

The door swung open with a squeak, scaring the shit out of Kimberley who was studying in the corner.

"No one in Vermont has any fun." Leighton mumbled, looking back at Emerson.

She nodded sheepishly. "I gotta get to training." Emerson walked toward their bedroom.

She threw open the closet, breathing heavily. She bent her head down, trying to focus on something- anything.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she reached shakily for her practice uniform. She felt her lungs working harder than they should've had to. Emerson gripped the fabric tightly as she threw it toward her bed.

She tried to ignore the tears she felt welling up in her eyes, taking her hoodie off and slipping the tighter shirt over her torso.

Emerson placed her hand on her stomach trying to remind herself that she can breathe and is currently doing so.

Leighton tried to focus on her planning- even though she'd nearly finished it the night before. She sighed, putting her phone down and giving in to the need to check on Emerson.

She knocked on the door gently a few times. When the door didn't open Leighton opened it herself. Her eyes softened as she shut the door behind her.

"Hey, hey. Em, are you.." Leighton rushed to her side, the color draining from her face.

Emerson sat on the bed, cleats clutched in her hands as her chest heaved. "I don't know why I feel like this right now-" she whispered.

"It's okay, baby" Leighton pulled the brunettes shaking frame into her chest.

Emerson inhaled Leighton's smell as she listened to the sound of beating heart.

"I'm gonna be late. It's the first day of conditioning and I'm gonna be late." Emerson struggled to push the words out.

"Hey. Breathe, sweet girl. Breathe." Leighton stroked Emerson's soft brown hair, trying to soothe her.

They sat like that for another few minutes before Emerson had regained her composure.

"I really have to go." Emerson took a deep breath, stepping away from Leighton's embrace. "Thank you for that."

Leighton watched as Emerson slung her bag over her shoulder, slipping her headphones on as she opened the door.

Leighton had the fleeting thought of going after her. Kissing her in the living room. She knew she was at least part of the reason for Emerson's panic.

It sucked, knowing that she was upsetting the girl she cared about so deeply so much.

They didn't see each other again until the party that night. Even then, it was across the room. They made eye contact, and Leighton smiled toward Emerson warmly, her hands twitching as if trying to reach for the brunette.

"He's coming!" One of the partygoers cried, running to hide behind the couch.

The room went quiet as everyone hid, waiting to surprise Nico. He opened the door, jumping back as the guests yelled out 'surprise.'

He grinned widely at the large crowd who'd gathered to celebrate him. "Thank you guys!"

Emerson took a large swig of her drink as Leighton spoke up. "I have a surprise for you!"

Maya stepped through the crowd toward Nico. His face fell as he saw her, but he reached forward and kissed her anyway. Emerson couldn't help but laugh. He took being able to be with the girl he liked in public.

Emerson followed Kimberly with her eyes as she stormed out of the room. Whitney and Emerson locked eyes before following her.

"Hey, I'm so sorry you had to see that." Emerson gently rubbed Kimberly's arm soothingly.

"How could he not tell me?"

Bela waltzed over, drink in hand. "Y'all were to busy fucking to discuss much else-" Emerson slapped Bela's arm- hard.

"He's a dick, okay? Forget him." Whitney gave a reassuring smile.

"What's wrong?" Leighton asked as she reached the group.

Emerson looked at Kimberley as tears welled in her eyes. "Kimberly was seeing Nico."

Leighton sighed softly. "Asshole." Leighton glared toward her brother. "If your told me I would've told you he had a girlfriend."

Emerson wanted to laugh- Leighton wasn't a cheater but she wasn't speaking about her relationship either.