Bitter Demons

18. There's Only Fear

Within ten minutes, the house was crawling with members of the Order of Shadows. Downstairs, the music was quiet. Sheriff Hollingsworth barked out instructions for everyone to sit down and wait to be questioned. I sat up in the cold bedroom, the open balcony door mocking me.

Meredith sat in a corner on the other side of the room. Her head dropped into her hands and she barely moved while we waited for her mother to arrive. If she was crying, her tears were silent.

When the door to the bedroom opened and her mother walked in, Meredith ran to her. She threw her arms around her mother's neck and held on tight like a child afraid of the boogeyman. I stood and backed toward the wall, not wanting to interrupt their family moment. I lowered my eyes to give them whatever privacy I could.

I had expected her mother to have an entourage, but no one else entered the room. I heard the door click closed.

"Harper," the woman said. "My name is Eloise Sullivan. I'm Meredith and Caroline's mom. Meredith tells me you were the first one up here when Caroline was taken?"

Eloise was not a tall woman, but her presence made her seem taller somehow. Her hair was the same caramel color of her two daughters. She was dressed in immaculate matching detail, like an older, more mature version of Meredith.

"I was in the hallway and heard her scream," I said. "I ran in to see what happened, but she was already gone."

"And the balcony?"

"The door was open. I walked over to see if she... that's when I found the blood," I said. I dropped my eyes again, knowing how difficult this must be for a mother to hear.

"Why were you upstairs?" Eloise asked. Her voice was all business.

"I..." I shook my head, trying to think of how I was going to explain this without telling the whole truth. "I had to go to the bathroom and the one downstairs was being used."

I struggled with the lie. Did she pick up on it? I couldn't tell. Her face didn't show it if she did.

"Caroline came up here to use the bathroom, too," Meredith said.

Her mother asked a few more questions about how much time I spent with Caroline and whether she'd said anything unusual to me that night. I told her about how we'd talked at the beginning of the party, but had parted ways shortly after.

"I want both of you to sit down on the bed," she said. "Be very quiet and do not interrupt me."

Meredith and I sat on opposite sides of the bed. I sat as quietly as I could, but my heart was beating so hard, I was afraid they would hear it.

Eloise walked to the balcony door and stood very still for a few seconds. Her eyes closed and she held both of her arms out to her side, palms up. A strong wind blew in through the open door. Her hair and skirt blew back, and I shivered. The energy in the room grew dense, electric.

I imagined that if I lifted my fingertip and reached out toward the Prima, the air would ignite in flame or hot lightning.

After a time, there was a noticeable sense of release, like breathing out. The wind stopped blowing and Eloise turned to the two of us on the bed. Her eyes were angry and less controlled than before.

"The memories here have been blocked," she said. "Someone very powerful has been here."

"Can't you just unblock them?" Meredith said.

"I did the best I could," her mother said. "But all I can see is the silhouette of a girl walking onto the balcony. I can feel Caroline's happiness. A sense of freedom or something. But I can't quite tell what she's happy about. Then, there's only fear. And darkness."

Happiness. Caroline felt free because she was able to get away from herself for a little while. Away from the condescending tone in her sister's voice and the pressure of being Caroline. Of course, I didn't see how being me for a few hours really could have been much better, but something had made her happy tonight. I tried to take some comfort in that.

"Sheriff Hollingsworth is sending everyone home after her men ask some very basic questions about Caroline," Eloise said. "Are you sure there's nothing else you can remember?"

I swallowed. "There was a bird," I said. "On the balcony."

Her mother drew her eyebrows together, questioning. "What kind of bird?"

"A crow," I said. I didn't mention the blue eyes. I already felt ridiculous even mentioning it, but if it would help them find Caroline, I had to tell.

"What? You think a bird carried her away?" Meredith said. "Don't be ridiculous. It probably just smelled the blood like a vulture or something. Can't you remember anything that will actually help us?"

"I suggest you head home, Harper. We have to assume that Caroline was kidnapped. Until we know for sure whether the person responsible is specifically targeting futures, I think you should lie low and be extremely careful."

Lie low? What did that mean, exactly?

"You mean stay at Shadowford?" I asked.

"I mean stay in your room with a guard posted at your door and a protection spell on your windows," she said.

"A guard?" I repeated, shaking my head.

"You should take this very seriously, Harper," Eloise said. "Being Prima comes with extreme responsibility. Your life is no longer your own. You should keep that in mind."

Again with the responsibility. Expectations. Pressure. I never asked for this life. It was thrust upon me after years of unhappiness and never being able to trust anyone. I'd never gotten seriously attached to anyone in my entire life, yet now everyone expected me to be willing to sacrifice everything for this town. How could I do that when they wouldn't even tell me the truth about the final initiation ceremony? I couldn't trust the Order. My life was still my own, whether the Order wanted it to be that way or not.

"I'm sorry about Caroline," I said. "If there's anything I can do to help you find her, please let me know."

"We will," Eloise said. "For now, you are dismissed."

I left the room with a heavy heart, but also with a new purpose. I had to find out who had taken Caroline and offer them a trade. And I had to do it without the Order knowing. There was only one person in this whole town I trusted, and that was Jackson Hunt. The only problem was that I couldn't let him know I was planning to offer myself in trade. He would never agree to that. Even if he didn't care about me the way I hoped, he wouldn't let me put his brother's life in danger.

I would have to find a way to convince him that we could rescue Caroline without putting my life in danger.