A Marriage Most Inconvenient (Inconvenient Matches Book #1)

Chapter 44: Ben & Vera

As Ben walked further into the garden, each step leading further and further away from the din of the ball. Each step taking him to a more private area of the garden, where two lovers may be alone without the chance of being seen by prying eyes. Or a husband, perhaps.

His gut twisted in despair.

My fault.

He imagined the two of them kissing, and his lunch threatened to heave itself out of his stomach. Would she whisper sweet words like she did to him? Would she kiss Stanhope with the unbridled enthusiasm that she kissed him? Anger and jealousy spun a maelstrom inside him until he thought he would be physically sick. What would he do if he saw them like that?

Take what's left of your pride and walk away.

But how? How was he supposed to do that when he had not felt so connected to another person in his entire life? When the idea of severing his tie to her was tantamount to tearing off one of his limbs?

What else then? Beg her to stay with you? What right do you have to ask her of that?

He was eventually close enough to spy them at a distance, Stanhope's back to him obscuring his view of his wife. Ben quietened his footfalls and approached as close as he dared, and when he spotted a garden wall that separated the gazebo from one side of the garden, he slipped behind it and walked until he was right next to the gazebo. His heart thudded so hard that for a minute he could not hear what they were saying.

Walk away now, unless you are prepared to face whatever happens here.

There was still time, he could go back to the ball, dance a quadrille or two, and remain in blissful ignorance. Then he could spend the rest of his life making sure they were never in the same place as Stanhope for as long as they lived.

'I will make everything right. Please. Please,' Stanhope was begging his wife and Ben was almost tempted to climb over the wall just to see what his wife's expressions were. 'As soon as I marry, I will make everything right. I swear to you.'

'How can you possibly think that you can make things right?! It's been five years!' She hissed at him, her temper impressive.

'I must marry first. I will fix everything, but I cannot afford to lose Jane.'

'And you will marry her, have her live in Cornwall where she can face the evidence of your damn perfidy every time she wishes to venture into town?! You bloody coward.'

Ben winced at the sheer fury in her voice, a stupid damn part of him was relieved that there was no tenderness in her speech.

How much Stanhope must have hurt her, to have made her this angry? How much must he have meant to her to have hurt her this much, to begin with?

'I know I am. I know.....' Ben strained to hear the next words. '....coward for leaving. A coward for not coming back and a coward for......beloved of the truth.' The anguish in Stanhope's voice was so potent, even Benedict felt a smidgen of sympathy. 'But please..... swear to you that my love is true. There has not been a moment in all these years that I have not thought and ached-'

Ben was going to be ill.

Love.

Stanhope spoke of the one thing that Minerva always wished for. The one thing Ben did not know how to offer.

'Love? Love?! Don't you dare stand here and speak to me of love, you whoreson.' She spat at him. 'Not after I wrote you letter after letter, begging you to come back to Marshall's Glenn. Not when you missed......' Her voice dropped to a furious whisper and the next few words were lost to him. '.... every damn milestone, every damn sickness, every damn smile. Do you have any idea what my husband would think of me knowing I humbled myself before anyone the way I have humbled myself before you, time and again?!'